[Following a tricycle-Big Wheel accident]
Boy: We should probably exchange numbers.
Stewie: Ok, I'm a ten, you're a four.

Tom Tucker: Coming up: Local newsman shows a camera operator how to center a shot.

Mosquito: Hi, I'm the new nurse.
Lois: Get outta here! This blood's not for you!
Mosquito: Aww. Oh look, an empty tire with some water in it. All right, I'm happy again.

Narrator: TV, that thing you used to watch.

Peter: Aagh! Aagh! Sex! Sex!

Lois: Peter, your arms are turning purple.
Peter: Purple with success. That's the color of money.

[Peter smacks a woman]
Lois: That was the right thing to do, Peter.

Joe: That was an unearned giggity, Quagmire.
Quagmire: I said "up". No?
Joe: No.
Cleveland: No.

Brian: Stewie, what are you doing?
Stewie: Being awesome.

Stewie: Ah crap. I should've known something was up when I saw all those cars out front.

Brian: I have to go to Chris' room. We're doing a masturbation intervention. I got a buncha his friends sitting in a circle in there... oh dear God!

Cookie Monster: Me love Cookie! Om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!

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