[Billy and Peter both in the bathroom, Peter is naked]
Billy: Don't take this the wrong way, but have you actually got a penis?
Peter: Yes.
Billy: Where... where is it?
Peter: It's in there!
Billy: Are you sure, so it's like Mr. Snuffleupagus, is it?
Peter: Oh the hell with this... Lois, get the ruler, we're measuring again, and this time I decide where the base is.

[Brian is reading a book in the living room when Stewie runs in, out of breath and with one of his arms hanging limply and dragging along the floor]
Brian: Stewie, what's going on? Aren't you supposed to be at Daycare?
Stewie: I escaped.
Brian: What happened to your arm?
Stewie: I finally stood up for all of us and told Miss Emily we should be given a proper lunch and not just what's left over from her Baja Fresh. And she said I shouldn't raise my voice and pulled me really hard into the other room and my arm came out of its socket.
Brian: ...Are you sure? Are you sure you didn't just sleep on it funny?
Stewie: DOES THIS LOOK LIKE I SLEPT ON IT FUNNY?! I'm gonna tell Mom! MOM!!!
[Brian jumps off the couch and stops Stewie]
Brian: You're not going anywhere! I finally have a date with Miss Emily tomorrow, and I'm not gonna let you or anybody else get in my way until I have seen every inch of her naked.
Stewie: Do you even hear yourself?! And what am I supposed to do about my arm?!
Brian: I'll just pop it back in.
Stewie: You most certainly will not! I need to go to a hospital!
Lois: [In the other room] Brian? Is Stewie in there with you?
Stewie: Mom!
[Brian grabs Stewie, putting his hand over his mouth as he rips a page out of his book and stuffs it in]
Brian: We're in here, Lois. He's napping. [To Stewie] Relax. I'm gonna pop it back in.
[Brian grabs Stewie's arm and starts doing so as Stewie screams into the wad of paper. He pulls free from Brian after a few seconds and tries to crawl away, but Brian grabs him again and continues]
Brian: Get in there... Hold still, Stewie!
[Brian grabs his book and uses that to pop Stewie's arm back into place, Stewie spitting the paper out and coughing as he rubs his arm]
Stewie: I'm not saying I like pain, but I'm not saying I don't like it either.

Peter: I gotta take take a bath. [Billy is watching him]
Billy: Go on then, we're both men.
Peter: Well.... alright I guess.
Billy: There you go... [Peter gets naked and Billy starts laughing] Look at that? What is th... WOAH! Solar eclipse blocking the sun, do not look directly at it! [laughs again]
Peter: What.. what what what the hell... what are you doing?
Billy: I'm just making a comment... ummm... need to know something. Do you hear the word morbidly a lot?

Billy: Anyway, I'm off to read Meg's diary. I've only been here one night but I get the sense we all dislike Meg.

Lois: So Billy, I hope the couch was alright.
Billy: Yeah. A lot better than the floor. And I should know, because I went down on the floor, thinking it was gonna be a lot better than the couch.

Billy: Ah. Hello, Joanne.
Joanne: Billy? What are you doing here?
Peter: He's here because he loves you and he wants to patch things up. Hey, how come you ain't got boobs? You like a runner or something?

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