- Consulate Employee: Not only did you destroy your passports, you renounced your citizenship.
- Brian: When did we do that?
- Peter: Oh, I did that on the Italian social networking site, "Shut-up-a-you-facebook".
- [Peter has unknowingly used the remote to turn Stewie into Bart Simpson, Rallo Tubbs, Bobby Hill, Steve Smith, Allen Gregory, Louise Belcher, Bender Rodriguez and Manny Delgado]
- Stewie: Stop what you're doing!
- [The morning after sex in Italy]
- Lois: Last night was the best sex I ever had.
- Peter: Me too. We haven't done it like that since we were engaged but allowed to sleep with other people.
- Lois: What are you talking about?
- [Peter barges in to tell the kids about staying in Italy]
- Peter: Kids, I've got an announcement...
- Stewie: [Sitting near the hem of Peter's robe on the floor] He's wearing a rubber.
- Peter: We're staying in Italy. We're Italian now.
- Brian: What?!
- Meg: Are you kidding?
- Stewie: Well, if we're going to be Italian I guess we should start murdering our brothers.
- [Slips behind Chris with a garrote and proceeds to strangle him]
- Chris: What are you... [starts to choke and struggle]
- Stewie: [In an Italian-accented whisper] You break-a my heart Chris. You break-a my heart.
- [Lois and Peter are passionately kissing in the back of a gondola]
- Lois: Oh, Peter!
- Peter: Come on, Lois, I got a 90-percenter goin', it could go either way, let's start making choices.
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