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- [The Griffins are watching TV]
- Announcer: We now return to a later-season episode of Family Ties.
- Steve Keaton: Elyse, have you noticed how puberty has changed Jennifer?
- Elyse Keaton: Shh! Keep your voice down.
- [Jennifer walks in; she's changed into an ogre-like creature with horns]
- Jennifer Keaton: I have a date with my boyfriend.
- Steve Keaton: Well, uh, have fun.
- Jennifer Keaton: You are to gather grapes for wine and prepare victuals for my return.
- Carter Pewterschmidt: Hope you like weird boobs.
- Lois: All you packed there are toys and cans of tuna fish.
- Peter: Well I gotta eat and I gotta have fun.
- Mayor Adam West: Poor guys they both have AIDS.
- [cut to Robert Loggia]
- Robert Loggia: NOT OKAAAAAY!!!!!
- Peter: Well, nobody believed that we would make it, but I drink and you use sex as a weapon. That seems to me like a successful New England marriage.
- Chris: Aunt Carol, Mom says you'd make a great Florida whore, what does that mean?
- Lois: Oh haha haha, Chris. I said that about Kate Hudson!
- Stewie: You know, I always thought I'd make a great Florida whore.