[Peter and Lois are on Carter Pewterschmidt's yacht with Carter and Barbara, Peter looks at the camera and realize he is suppose to start now]
Peter: Oh, uh, it sure was nice of you to invite us out on your yacht, Mr. Pewterschmidt.
Carter: It's not a boat, it's a yacht. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said it was a boat.

[from a distance from the yacht, Brian and Stewie are snorkling]
Brian: Wow, it's beautiful down there.
Stewie: I just can't believe it really looks like this.
[the camera reveals the bottom looks like what you would expect in a fish tank, with a goldfish, castle, fake plants, and a scuba diver]
Stewie: Boy, the fish tank at daycare really nailed it.

[On the yacht]
Barbara:: Lois, are you feeling all right?
Lois: I'm just a little seasick, that's all.
[Lois pukes over the side of Carters yacht twice]
Stewie: Oh, my God! Oh-ho-ho, Brian's eatin' it.
Peter: Boy, that's a lot of puke, Lois. I ain't seen that much puke since my bachelor party.
Carter: Your what?
Peter: My bachelor party.
Carter: What's that?
Peter: You don't know what a bachelor party is?
Carter: No!
Peter: When you got married, didn't you have, like, a bachelor party with all your friends?
Carter: My what?
Peter: Oh, my God, well, we are gonna fix that. [put his arm around Carter] Carter, I am gonna throw you the best bachelor party ever!
Carter: Why would you do that?
Peter: 'Cause I'm your pal and I want to help. Like Cheeseburger Helper.
[cut to Peter in the kitchen and Hamburger Helper walks in]
Hamburger Helper: Hey there, Peter. How would you like to take a half a pound of hamburger and make a delicious meal for the whole family?
Peter: Sure!
Hamburger Helper: Okay, then let's...
[the camera zooms out revealing Cheeseburger Helper]
Cheeseburger Helper: Hold on there, Peter! I've got something even better!
Peter: Oh, really?
Cheeseburger Helper: You bet. How would you like to take a half a pound of hamburger and make a delicious meal for the whole family...with cheese?
Peter: What? Wha...I-I don't...I-I could just take cheese and put it on the thing he's doing.
Cheeseburger Helper: [shouting angrily] No! It won't be the same!
Hamburger Helper: [to Peter] Look, he's my brother. He didn't get enough oxygen at birth. He's never gonna be quite in step with the rest of us and this is sort of my way of taking care of him.
Peter: Well, that's nice of you, but it was so much simpler when it was just you and me doing our thing.
Hamburger Helper: I know, but just let him have this one. Odds are he won't even come back with the actual food.
Peter: Okay, Cheeseburger Helper, you're on.
Cheeseburger Helper: [jumping left to right] Yay! Cheese, cheese, cheese! Yay!
Peter: I'm so sorry for your burden. You're a good brother.

[Peter, Quagmire, Joe and Carter at the Fuzzy Clam]
Peter: So what do you think, Carter? You having a good time?
Carter: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with myself. I'm very uncomfortable
Joe: Why don't you get a lap dance, Mr. Pewterschmidt?
Carter: No, Peter's crippled friend, I think I'm just gonna leave. This was a stupid idea.
Peter: Aw, come on, you just gotta relax and cut loose. Like those foreigh guys over there.
[cut to the two foreign guys who are dancing with a stripper]
Foreign Guy #1:: I can't believe I'm back at the horse. I had many drinks last night and I was so hung out this morning.
Foreign Guy #2:: Aw, me, too, friend. I was blowing chinks like crazy.
Peter: Boy, this is fun, huh? Except for the fact we gotta sit next to that woman who came with her co-workers.
[cut to a woman with three of her male co-workers with strippers on them]
Woman: Huh, aren't we all pals? I work at the office. This is empowering. Maybe I'll get a dance, huh? You guys are probably gonna be talking about this forever. A woman who's so cool with all of this? Jackpot!
Peter: [spotting a stripper off-screen] All right, there's a cute-looking one. [calling out to the stripper, refering to Carter] Excuse me, miss? This older gentleman would like a lap dance.
[The stripper walks over to them as Peter sits Carter down. The stripper spreads Carter leg and starts lap dancing on Carter]
Carter What am I supposed to do?
Peter: Nothing. You just sit there and enjoy yourself.
Carter: Do I, do I stick the money directly inside her?
Peter: No, you do not.
Carter: Why, have you done that before?
Peter: [laughs] Doesn't go over.
Carter: When do I hit her?
Peter: Oh, for crying out loud, [pours beer down Carter's mouth] just drink this. [to the stripper] And you, give this old bastard the ride of his life.
Peter: [laughing] Yeah!
Quagmire: All right, go, Carter!
Peter: All right.
Joe: [leaning in, next to Quagmire] GET SOME! GET SOME!
Quagmire: Hey Joe, that's like, right in my fucking ear.
[the stripper continues to lap dance on Carter]
Carter: Stop it! Peter, I...I...Whoa! Boy, she's bendy! [chuckles] Wow! Y-Yes! Oh! Awesome! All right! [suffering a heart attack] Oh! [groans, falls out of his sit]
[Joe and Quagmire approaches Carter]
Quagmire: Oh, my God! What's happening to him?
Carter: I'm having a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack! You ought to know by now! [Carter passes out]

[Dr. Gregory House is standing by Carter Pewterschmidt's bed, alongside Barbara, Lois and Peter, as they fret over his condition.]
Lois: Oh, my God! Is my father gonna be okay, Dr. House?
Dr. House: He's in a coma, Mrs. Griffin. And listening to the sound of your voice I'd say he's the lucky one.
Barbara: [holding Carter's hand] Oh, dear, I do hope there's something to be done.
[Suddenly, a male nurse runs in carrying a book]
Nurse: Doctor House! If you're gonna save the patient, you'll need this.
[The nurse hands House the book. The front cover reads: "Rule Book"]
House: Get this thing OUTTA MY SIGHT!!!
[He throws the book out the window]
Peter Griffin: Well wait a second, how you gonna play by the rules if you don't have the ruleboo-[eyes widen] ohhhhhh.
Dr. House: My methods are a little unorthodox, Mr. Griffin. I think I can help.
[Dr. House punches Carter in his face]
Peter: What are you doing?
Dr. House: My job. Sometimes people fake being in a coma. This man's not. Unless of course, the first punch knocked him out. In which case, we won't know for some time. [looks at the camera] House.
Peter: Road House.
Dr. House: That, too.

[The family, minus Chris and Meg, are eating breakfast, when Brian brings up the topic of Carter Pewterschmidt's health]
Brian: Any word on Carter's condition yet?
Lois: No, it's been three days and I'm really starting to get worried.
Stewie: What if he's in a coma for like, 20 years, and he comes out of the coma and you guys are all dead, but I'm still alive and I'm a famous race car driver, and he's like, "Aw man, Stewie turned out awesome!" and he comes to one of my races, and I'm so surprised to see him there I crash, and then I'm in a coma for 20 years, and I wake up and he's a race car driver.
Brian: Stewie, do you wanna be a race car driver when you grow up?
Stewie: Well, gosh if you think I'd be good at it.

[the doorbell rings and Lois opens the door and see her father's attorney]
Kenneth Gould: Hello, Mrs. Griffin, I'm Kenneth Gould, Mr. Pewtwerschmidt's attorney. I'd like to talk to you about a few things.
[Peter and Lois sit down with Kenneth in the living room]
Kenneth: As part of Mr. Pewterschmidt's estate planning, he has left video wills applicable to a wide variety of situations.
[Kenneth insert the video will in the VCR and plays it. Carter appears in a chair]
Carter: Hello, if you're watching this, it means they didn't cut the rope when I climaxed. As a result, I'm now dead.
Kenneth: [fast forwarding the tape] That's not it. [plays the tape]
Carter: If you're watching this one, it means the train wasn't able to push the DeLorean up to 88 miles per hour and I'm still stuck in 1885.
Kenneth: [fast forwarding] This could take a while. [plays the tape]
Carter: Eaten by sharks while snorkeling... [fast forward and play] ...stabbed to death in a Toys R Us bathroom. [fast forward and play]...1940s roller skate left in the hall. [fast forward and play] Death by chocolate. [laughs] No, no, leave it in. [fast forward and play] Had a heart attack and have slipped into a coma.
Kenneth: Here we go.
Carter: In that case, I leave control of my company, Pewterschmidt Industries, to my daughter Lois.
Lois: What?! I don't know the first thing about running a billion-dollar company.
Kenneth: The board of directors is fully prepared to run the company in Carter's absence, if that's what you'd prefer, Mrs. Griffin.
Lois: Well, yes, I think that'd be best.
Peter: Well, now wait a second, Lois. I could run the company.
Lois: You? You can't run a business that size. You have no experience.
Peter: You know what that is, Lois? That's you playing by the rule book. And I don't play by the rule book. [to Dr. House who appears out of nowhere] Right, Dr. House?
Dr. House: Well, don't ask me. My superiors think I'm crazy. [gibbering and doing some crazy movements] Scared ya, didn't I? [to the camera] House.
Peter: House. And I'm gonna run the company.

Peter: Well, Lois, I'm off to my first day as a corporate bigwig.
Lois: I'm not so sure about this, Peter. I mean, that's daddy's company. He spent his whole life building it from the ground up. And you don't know anything about running a big business.
Peter: Whoa, whoa, thanks for the vote of confidence. Geez, you're a bigger downer than a German bedtime story.
[cutaway to a German bedtime story]
Narrator: Zere vunce vas a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His musser asked him to stop but he vouldn't. So she cut off his thumbs. Now he has no thumbs. Gutt night.

[in the conference room of Petwerschmidt Industries, twelve executives are in a business meeting]
Executive: [using a point on a chart] And in addition, Pewterschmidt Industries' pharmaceutical division is up over 30%, profits in new media have doubled each quarter over the past year, and our stock is at an all-time high.
[Peter opens the door to the room and enters with a suitcase]
Peter: All right, stand aside. I'll take it from here. Good afternoon, gentlemen, my name is Peter Griffin. I will be running the company from hence here forth.
[Peter pulls out a cigar from his briefcase and puts it in his mouth]
Peter: Now, I want you all to lay some business talk on me. I need ideas. What can we do to make this quarter more quarterly?
[everyone just stares at Peter]
Peter: Well, come on, come on.
[some of the executives murmur among each other and one of them coughs]
Peter: Okay, I can see I'm gonna have to get things rollin'. All right, we're gonna do an exercise called the Idea Ball. I'm gonna toss a ball to one of you, and whoever catches it, throw out the first idea you got, then pass the ball to the next guy, and he throws out an idea and so on. Everybody clear?
[the executives agree with Peter's idea]
Peter: All right, here we go.
[Peter picks up a bowling ball and throws it at an executive named Abrams which hits them out of his sit]
Peter: All right, Abrams, whaddaya go?
Abrams:: [on the ground] My lungs's collapsing.
Peter: You know what I'm hearin', gentlemen? [walks to a window and faces it, sighs] What's the best way to put this? What I'm hearing... [Peter picks out a wedgie] What I'm hearin' is a lot of yesterday talk. This isn't the way we're gonna do things under my leadership. We are gonna turn this company around.
Executive: But, sir, the company's doing fine. Better than ever, in fact. Mr. Pewterschmidt would...
Peter: I don't care what Mr. Pewterschmidt would have done. We need to take risks. We need a complete overhaul. Gentlemen, you're all fired.
[all the executive gasps and one of them says "What?!"]
Peter: There, now that I've got your're all fired.

[At the Griffins' house, Peter and the family, minus Lois, are watching TV then Lois comes in the front door]
Lois: Peter, what the hell is going on? You fired everybody at daddy's company!?
Peter: You bet.
Lois: Are you outta your mind?!
Peter: Keep it up, Lois, I might fire you.
Lois: You wouldn't.
Peter: Does the name Lacey Chabert mean anything to you?
Lois: Okay, I'll behave.
Peter: Yes, you will.
Lois: Look, Peter, all I'm saying is, those guys have been with daddy for years. How are you supposed to run that company without them?
Peter: That's it, Lois, you're fired. [to Chris] Chris, you are now Meg's mother.
Chris: [feeling Peter's arm] Ooh, Peter, your muscles are so muscley.
Peter: I am gonna plow you so gross later.

[at Pewterschmidt Industries, Peter is talking with his new executives]
Peter: You are a team of executives I can trust.
[the camera zooms out revealing Brian, Quagmire, and Mort]
Peter: Brian, Quagmire, Mort, you are gonna be my creative team. You are gonna help me lead this company into the future.
Brian: Peter, we don't know anything more than you do about running a company.
Peter: Hey, where's Joe?
Quagmire: I think he's still outside.
[Peter walks to the window and opens it to talk to Joe]
Peter: [shouting] Hey, Joe! What're you doin' down there?!
Joe: [shouting] There's no ramp! I can't get inside!
Peter: Well, we don't need him anyway. This company's gonna make it on my ideas.

[Peter is unveiling the new products he plans to sell in the new fiscal year for Carter's company]
Peter Griffin: Here are the products we'll be unveiling in the new fiscal year. The 'African American Heart Monitor'.
[Cut to a patient lying in a hospital bed, with a seemingly normal heart monitor attached to him]
African American Heart Monitor: [With a deep, black voice, in time with his heartbeat] Yeah...yeah...yeah...yeah...yeah...[He flatlines] he dead.
Peter Griffin: 'Jeremy Irons Cereal'
[Cut to a table with Jeremy Irons sitting next to his bowl of cereal]
Jeremy Irons: [In a bland voice] If you're looking for marshmallows, there are none. Its quite bland, I assure you.
Peter Griffin: And, 'Scream In A Box'
[Cut to a man sitting on a table with a box. He opens it and a man's voice is heard screaming. He closes it shortly after]
Man: I needed that today!
Peter Griffin: And now, new 'Lady Scream In A Box'
[Cut to a woman sitting on a couch with a pink colored box. She opens it and a woman's voice is heard screaming. She closes it shortly after]
Woman: Finally, a scream that's right for me!

[At Pewterschmidt Industries, Peter is walking through the office]
Peter: Well, it's good to see everyone's adapting to their new business roles.
[Peter stops by Brian's office, where Brian is typing on his computer]
Peter: Brian, I like your Successories.
[Peter continues his walk. Brian stops typing for a moment and looks at his Successory poster that said "Go get it. Go get it, Boy"]
Brian: I will. I will go get it. [Brian resume typing]

[in Quagmire's office, Quagmire is typing on his computer and then a woman knocks on his door and enters]
Marlene: Mr. Quagmire, the Davidson account is waiting for you in the conference room.
Quagmire: All right, thanks, Marlene. Tell 'em I'll be right in.
[Marlene leaves and Quagmire walks to a mirror to fix his tie]
Quagmire: [talking to his reflection] All right, Glenn, time to go make millions.
[Quagmire's reflection changes into a hippie version of himself who glares at him]
Hippie Quagmire: What happened to you, man?
Quagmire: I grew up! That's what happened!
Hippie Quagmire: What happened to the free-loving Quagmire who was banging ten chicks at a time?
Quagmire: I still do that.
Hippie Quagmire: Oh. Good.
Quagmire: Yup.
Hippy Quagmire: Can I have some money?
Quagmire: Oh, get out of here, you bum
Hippie Quagmire: Ah, all right. [Hippy Quagmire runs away]

[at the hospital, Carter, still in a coma, is hooked up to an African American Heart Monitor. Lois and Barbara are in the room]
African American Heart Monitor: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[Carter wakes up from his coma]
African American Heart Monitor: He's a'ight
Lois:: Daddy, you're awake!
Barbara: Oh, Carter, I'm so relieved.
Carter: [groans] What happened? Where am I?
Lois: Oh, you had a heart attack, Daddy, but you're all right now.
African American Heart Monitor: Yeah, he cool.
Carter: [refering to the heart monitor] What the hell is that?!
Lois: Oh, it's an African American heart monitor made by your company.
Carter: What?!
Barbara: Yes, it has two settings: Barry White and Billy Cosby.
African American Heart Monitor: [on the Bill Cosby setting] Beep. Beep. Boop. Beep.
Carter: My company makes no such thing.
Lois: Well, you see, Daddy, when you were in a coma, Peter stepped in and took charge of Pewtwerschmidst Industries.
[Carter goes into a spasm]
African American Heart Monitor: [on the Bill Cosby setting] Zibida, zoobida, gebada, bopada, zipity, ziggita, zagata, boopada, bopada, [Carters freezes] Ghost Dad!

[at Pewterschmidst Industries, Peter is sitting in the conference room]
Peter: [sighs happily] Well, you made it, Peter. You're a big shot. In charge of a whole bunch of people. [pressure the intercom] Peggy, hold my calls for a few minutes, please.
Peggy:: Yes, Mr. Griffin.
Peter: Well, buddy, you're in love with Peggy. What a mess.
[Carter slams open the doors to the conference room]
Carter: [angrily] Griffin! Get the hell out of my building!
Peter: Holy crap, Mr. Pewterschmidt, you're okay!
Carter: You're damn right I'm okay, and I'm here to reassume charge of my company.
Peter: Maybe I don't want to leave. Maybe I like being a fat cat.
Carter: What are you saying?
Peter: I'm saying it's my company now, and it's better than it ever was when you were running it. [presses the intercom] Security, we have a situation in the conference room.
Carter: I'll give you a situation, you fat turd.
Peter: Gentlemen, please remove this man from the building.
[two security guards comes and grabs Carter]
Carter: What th...? I'm Carter Pewterschmidt! This is my company! Throw that guy out!
Security Guard: Sorry, Mr. Pewterschmidt, but we work for Mr. Griffin now.
[the security guards escorts Carter out the room
Carter: You can't do this to me! Do you know who I am?! I'm Carter Pewterschmidt! [off-screen] I'm not getting in that elevator! Don't you dare throw me out of this lobby! Don't you...damn it. [talking to someone outside the building] Hey, what are you doing out here?
Joe: [off-screen] I can't get in the building!
Peter: [presses the intercom] Uh, Peggy?
Peggy: Yes, Mr. Griffin.
Peter: That fart I have at 3:00...can you push that up to now?
Peggy: Very good, sir.

[at the Griffin's house, in the living room]
Carter: Lois, how could you let your idiot husband take over my company? He fired all my staff, his stupid ideas are bankrupting Pewterschmidt Industries, and now he won't step down!
Lois: I know, Daddy. He's become so full of himself. He's more annoying than when he's making his Christmas list.
[cut to the time when it was Christmas, Lois is about to leave while Peter is watching TV]
Lois: Now, Peter, are you sure this is all you want for Christmas? I'm only going to the mall once.
Peter: Yeah, yeah, that's it.
[Lois leaves]
Man: [on TV] All new this Christmas...remote control cars...that glow in the dark?!
[Peter's jaw drops in excitement, he then looks out the window to see if Lois left yet then looks at the TV and looks back at the window. Just as Lois is about to start the car Peter throws the TV through the car window which shows the image of the remote control car]
Peter: [off-screen] Get that!

Carter: I've run that company for 40 years. He even froze my corporate bank accounts. I'm broke.
Lois: Oh, that's ridiculous. I'll talk to him as soon as he gets home.
[Lois and Carter suddenly hear the sound of a jet approaching]
Lois: What the hell is that!
[Peter's private jet crashes through Spooner St. trashing the neighborhood and setting Joe's lawn on fire. He complains to Peter angrily]
Joe Swanson: Dammit, Peter! Your plane set my lawn on fire!!
Peter Griffin: Here, [throws some money on the floor] that oughta cover it.
Joe Swanson: Peter, I don't want your money!
Peter Griffin: Well fine then, have a box of 'Jeremy Irons Cereal'
[Cut to a table with Jeremy Irons sitting next to his bowl of cereal]
Jeremy Irons: [In a bland voice] If you're looking for a prize at the bottom, there is none. Only more cardboard.

Lois: Peter, this has gone on long enough. I want you to make things right with Daddy. It's his company.
Peter: It's my company. It's your company. Three's Company. Where the kisses are hers and hers and his.
Lois: What?
Peter: I'm sorry, Lois. We all had some pot brownies on the plane.
Quagmire: [in the pilot seat of the jet] Hey, Peter, are you seeing this rabbit?
Peter: No.
Quagmire: Well, I sure am. [to a human-size rabbit] You know something? You're not qualified to sit in that chair.
Rabbit: Oh, aren't I?
[the rabbit pulls his mask off revealing Quagmire's head]
Quagmire: [screams]
Rabbit-Quagmire: [scream]
Quagmire: Maybe there's a rabbit head under here.
[Quagmire tries to pull his head off but ends up ripping out a huge chuck of his skin; when he starts bleeding he starts yelling and runs out the jet and runs back and forth]
Lois: Peter, all of my father's assets are tied up in that corporation.
[Quagmire hits his head on the wing of the jet and is knocked unconscious]
Lois: If you freeze up his money, he's not gonna have anything to live on. Now you are gonna make amends with Daddy, and that's final.
Peter: All right, Lois, if that's what you want. Mr. Pewterschmidt, be in my office tomorrow morning at 9:00. I'm sure we can figure something out. [laughs evilly]
Carter: Hmm...I don't know if I like the sound of that laugh. [moments later, Carter is dressed as a janitor holding a broom and next to some cleaning supplies] I knew I didn't like the sound of that laugh. Peter, this is unacceptable. What gives you the right to treat me like this?
Peter: You've been treating me like crap for 20 years, Mr. Pewterschmidt, and now I'm the one in charge. Hang on a second.
[Peter puts a pencil in a pencil sharpener and slowly sticks the pencil in his mouth and then vomits on the floor]
Peter: Clean that up.

[in the office area of Pewterschmidt Industries]
Peter: Carter, as your boss, I command you to have a viewing party for tonight's episode of The Big Bang Theory, and you have to go cubicle to cubicle inviting people.
Carter: Aw, come on, Peter, I'm not, I'm not good with rejection.
Peter: I'm your boss. Now do it!
[Carter walks to one of the cubicle with a woman inside]
Carter: Hi. I was gonna catch The Big Bang Theory tonight, and wondered if you wanted to come over and watch.
Woman: Wha...What? What is that?
Carter: It's a comedy. It's on CBS. I'm really into it.
Woman: I don't want to watch that. I don't want to watch it with you.
Carter: All right, if you change your mind, here's a flyer. If you do decide to come, I'm just asking that you bring an appetizer.
Woman: [throws the flyer in the trash] Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
Carter: See, Peter, I told you, no one wants to come. This is awful.
Peter: You're not off the hook. You still got to have that party.
[moments later, Carter is alone at his viewing party, with balloons, drinks, snacks, and the banner of "The Big Bang Theory" set up]
Carter: [seeing Barbara walking by] Babs, you want to sit and watch...?
Barbara: No.
["The Big Bang Theory" on TV]
Sheldon Cooper: I'll have you know that I can bench press over 690 billion nanograms.
Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon, that's less than two pounds.
Sheldon: It sounded better the way I said it.
Carter: [laughs] Oh, when I tell that joke at work tomorrow, people...people...people are gonna be sorry they didn't come. They're...They're gonna...This...This was...This-This was a good night.

[at Pewterschmidt Industries]
Peter: Carter, as your boss, I'm ordering you to pay a complient [the camera zooms out revealing an Asian man in a suit] to this sharply-dressed Asian man.
Carter: You look very nice.
Asian Man:: What else?
Carter: Uh...
Asian Man: What about my shoe?
Carter: They're nice, too.
Asian Man:: How you think my house smell?
Carter: Not oniony?
Asian Man: You good man. I pat you on the head and [pulls some food from his pocket] feed you from the hand.

[at the Griffin's house, in the kitchen]
Carter: [crying] And then he made me clean out the fridge in the employee lounge, and the employees were mad at me because I...I threw out food that they still wanted. I don't know what's in there!
Lois: Oh, that's it. Peter is completely out of control. We've got to do something to take him down and get your company back.
Carter: Right, right. But how?
Lois: In order to oust an idiot, we've got to think like an idiot. Let's see. What's Peter's weakness. He's got to have a weakness.
[Lois and Carter think for a moment]
Carter: Swamp monsters.
Lois: Swamp monsters, of course!

[later that night in Pewterschmidt Industries, Peter is in his office writing something and then Lois enters his office]
Peter: Lois, what are you doing here?
Lois: Oh, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.
Peter: Of course it's okay. Why wouldn't it be?
Lois: Oh, you know, that whole swamp monster story.
Peter: Swamp monster?
Lois: You haven't heard?
Peter: Heard what?
Lois: Oh, I'm sure it's nothing. It's just, apparently, somebody flushed a baby swamp monster down the toilet somewhere hot far from here.
Peter: What?! Who would flush a baby swamp monster? Don't they know what would happen?
Lois: Well, apparently it has happened. And now it's grown up and is attacking importnat businessmen.
Peter: I'm an important businessman!
[deep growling can be heard]'
Peter: What the hell was that?!
Lois: It sounds like maybe a swamp monster [to the Swamp monster who is outside the office] Who needs to project a little more.
[the deep growling gets louder, then Carter, dress as a swamp monster, enters the office, walks forward and trips on his own kelp]
Carter: Ah, crap.
[Carter gets back up and walks towards Peter, roaring]
Peter: [frigtened] Aah! A swamp monster!
[Carter chases Peter around his deck. Peter quickly moves to Lois]
Lois: [holding a pen and document] Quick, Peter, sign this legal document giving the company back to Daddy so you won't get eaten!
Peter: [signs the document] Oh, I don't understand, but nothing makes sense in these swamp monster times.
[Peter runs off screaming, Carter approaches Lois]
Lois: We did it, Daddy, I have my husband back, [hands Carter the document] and you have your company.
[Suddenly, the real Carter shows up in a swamp monster costume and holding his swamp monster mask]
Carter: [the real one] Sorry I'm late, Lois. Okay, are we doing the swamp monster thing?
Lois: Wait, if you're Daddy, then who...?
Lois & Carter: [scared] S-S-S-S-S-S-S...Swamp monster!
[Carter jumps into Lois's arms and Lois runs aways and the swamp monster chases after them. The swamp monster is finally caught in a giant net]
Lois: Now let's find out who you really are.
[Lois unmasks the swamp monster and it reveals to be Dr. House. Lois and Carter gasps]
Lois: Dr. House?!
Dr. House: [in his british accent] Indeed, Lois. And if you don't mind, I'll address you in my natural speaking voice, as I've grown so weary of doing an American accent.
Carter: [to Dr. House] Do you want to come to my Big Bang viewing party next week?
Lois: Daddy, you don't have to do that anymore.
Carter: I know, I know. I...I...I like it now.

[at the Griffin's house, the whole family is in the living room]
Lois: Well, I'm sorry you lost the company, Peter, but I think it's for the best. You were turning into a real jerk.
Peter: Well, maybe so. But I sure am gonna miss being a corporate big shot.
Lois: Well, you'll always be a big shot in this family, sweetheart.
Peter: Thanks, honey.
Lois: And I got a little surprise for you. In that contract you signed, you got to keep the corporate plane.
Peter: [gasps, jumps up in the air, fist pump] Yeah!
[Family Guy music plays, a few seconds later Peter is still in the air]
Lois: Peter, how are you doing that?
Peter: I...I don't...I don't know, Lois. I'm scared.
Lois: Well, come down.
Peter: I can't. I...I...Get help. Call somebody.
Lois: Wh...Wh...Who do I call?
Peter: I...I don't know. A police...a fireman...a scientist! Call a scientist!
Lois: Okay, you kids stay here with your father. [leaves] I'm gonna go find a scientist.
Peter: Am I gonna die?

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