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| From the episode: | Family Guy: Live in Vegas |
|---|---|
| Singers: | Peter and Lois |
| Voices: | Seth MacFarlane and Alex Borstein |
Track 11 from Family Guy: Live in Vegas as performed by Peter and Lois Griffin
Lyrics
Lois: ...Well I think you are the sweetest man in the whole world.
Peter: Well this guy ain't going anywhere Lois. Hey let me tell you something. ♪I know I haven't always been the perfect spouse.♪
Lois: You do OK.
Peter: ♪I drink too much and leave the cans around the house.♪
Lois: Well you do do that.
Peter:♪ And once I cleaned up Stewie's doody with your blouse.♪
Lois: What?!
Peter: ♪I may be thoughtless.♪
Lois: No you're not.
Peter: ♪I may be sloppy♪
Lois: Well, a little
Peter: ♪I may be stupid.♪
Lois: Well, a lot.
Peter: ♪But I'm yours♪
Lois: ♪You're figure isn't always what it ought to be.♪
Peter: Eh, I gotta lose five pounds.
Lois: ♪But rollie-pollie belly's never bothered me.♪
Peter: Thank you.
Lois: ♪Or that you scream for hours when you hurt your knee.♪
Peter: (Breathes in) Ahh(breathes out). {Just like he did when he fell after finding the pawtucket scroll}.
Peter: ♪I may be chubby.♪
Lois; Well, 296.
Peter: ♪I may be lazy.♪
Lois: sorry, 298.
Peter: ♪I may be clumsy♪
Lois: Only often
Peter; ♪But I'm yours♪
Lois: ♪What if one day a rapist attacked me?♪
Peter: ♪i would use him to mop up the street.♪
Lois: ♪You would?♪
Peter: ♪You bet. I got a left hook.♪
Lois: ♪What if he was big?♪
Peter: ♪I got a right hook♪
Lois: ♪What if he was a woman?♪
Peter: ♪I got a camera, freaking sweet.♪
Peter/Lois: ♪♪I/You may be brainless.♪♪
Peter/Lois: ♪♪I/You may be witless.♪♪
Peter: ♪I may be Irish.♪
Peter: ♪But I'm yours.♪
Lois: ♪And would you wash the dishes if I asked you to?♪
♪That kind of thing is every woman's dream come true.♪
Peter: ♪I'll do 'em when this very special Coach is through.♪
Lois: Will you empty the trash?
Peter: ♪I got a backache.♪
Lois: Will you fix the toilet?
Peter: ♪I got a headache.♪
Lois: Will you vacuum the den?
Peter: ♪I got a penis♪
Lois: You're a sexist.
Peter: ♪But I'm yours.♪
Lois: ♪They say a man should treat his lady like a prize.♪
♪A goddess Greek to worship with adoring eyes.♪
Peter: ♪But I won't do that Greeky thing of humpin' guys.♪
Peter: ♪I may be phobic♪
♪I may be stinky♪
♪I may be farting♪ {farts}
♪But I'm yours.♪
Lois: ♪Would you brave any hurdle to save me?♪
Peter: ♪I would slay any foes by the scores.♪
Lois: Lions?
Peter: ♪I got a shotgun.♪
Lois: Tigers?
Peter: ♪I got a blowtorch.♪
Lois: The Christian right?
Peter: ♪I got a porno.♪
Lois: That'll do it.
Peter: ♪'Cause I'm yours.♪
Peter/Lois: ♪♪I/You may be dopey.♪♪
Peter/Lois: ♪♪I/You may be messy.♪♪
Peter/Lois: ♪♪I may be Peter.♪♪
Peter/Lois: ♪And I'm yours.♪
{Applause}
Brian: Hey, you smell something?
Stewie: Oh, dear.
Brian: What?
Stewie: Oh, dear.
Brian: What's the matter?
Stewie: Oh you're not going to like this.
Brian: What?
Stewie: I just made a doody.
Brian: Oh, God.
Stewie: I'm sorry, it just slipped out unannounced.
Brian: What do you mean "unannounced"?
Stewie: Well, normally the doody schedules an exit interview before it departs, but this one seems to have no regard for protocol.
Brian: Do you need a change?
Stewie: No no, it's alright. Op, there's another one.
Brian: Christ, let's hurry up and get to the next number. Here's a favorite of mine by the great Antonio Carlos Jobim.