|Patrick Warburton as Cal Johnson|
|From the episode:||Family Guy Presents: Seth & Alex's Almost Live Comedy Show|
|Singers:||Seth MacFarlane with Walter Murphy & His Orchestra|
|Voices:||Seth MacFarlane with Walter Murphy & His Orchestra|
The Cal Johnson Theme Song is the theme song to a fictional television show that aired on FOX. The show was cancelled because the lyrics from the theme tune are very strange and contradictory. The theme song was performed during Family Guy Presents: Seth & Alex's Almost Live Comedy Show. Seth MacFarlane sang the song and Patrick Warburton portrayed the title character.
- There was a man who shot the man who was the man who shot the man, Cal Johnson, Cal Johnson.
- He wore a hat, his favorite hat, he loved that hat, he hated hats, Cal Johnson, Cal Johnson.
- He was a dad to zero kids and yet he fathered five.
- He got shot dead a year ago and yet he's still alive.
- He's rich beyond his wildest dreams, yet never had a dime.
- A law man to the very end, he led a life of crime
- In all his years of life on earth he never fired a gun,
- Yet when it came to Chinese men he shot down everyone.
- He had a horse named Bandit and the horse's name was Clyde.
- Cal Johnson was born the day he died.