Family Guy Wiki

Carter and Tricia/Quotes

< Carter and Tricia

5,838pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share
Lois: Why the hell would Daddy buy the Brewery?
Brian: Well, there's children in the room. Watch your swearing.

Joe: I have to confiscate your license and you're gonna have to walk home.
Brian: But, can't you at least just give me a ride?
Joe: No can do, Amigo.
Brian: Alright, I guess I'll just call an Uber.
[Brian calls an Uber and Joe's phone rings]
Joe: Are you Brian?

Co-Worker: Goodnight, Peter.
Peter: Goodnight, gender transitioned co-worker, we had a whole meeting about.

Tricia: Peter, are you sure you heard Mr. Pewterschmidt correctly? He actually said he wanted cheap, toxic materials inserted into the Brewery supply stream?
Peter: Well, his eyes looked different, how he said it, but that was the gist.

Tricia: Mr. Griffin, it sounds like you've brought me an interesting story. What should I do with it, Ollie?
Peter: Oh, you've got a standing desk too?
Peter: I know, they don't wanna hear it though.

Peter: I swear, Mama Tricia. I'm gonna make you the proudest tiger mom of all. Not like how Jesus feels about his kid.
[Cutaway to Jesus and his son, Billy]
Billy: Dad, I got bullied at school. They flipped up my lunch tray.
Jesus: Oh, that sucks. I wonder if that's the worst thing that ever happened to a guy. [takes out a Bible] Whoa. Whoa! Billy, this guy in the book here, he's really getting the business. Yikes! Okay, I'm sorry, what happened at school today?
Billy: You're kind of a dick, dad.
Jesus: Huh, I wonder if there's anyone in here, whose dad was a bigger dick. Wow, crazy!

Tricia: Alright, Peter. It's time to master the game of chess.
Peter: Okay, that shouldn't be too hard.
[Peter tries grabbing a chess piece and Tricia slaps him]
Tricia: No! You will do it in the traditional Japanese way. On a wacky game show, while a beautiful woman beats your scrotum with a reed.
[Cutaway to Peter on a game show, and getting beaten with a reed]
Peter: Ow! I don't know which way the horse goes! [Peter gets hit again and a guy laughs at him] Aaah! Why is that guy laughing at me and where is he?
[A buzzer goes off]
Peter: There was a time limit? Nobody told me that!
Japanese Guy: Time for Good Door Bad Door!
Peter: Wait, how bad is the bad door?
[Fast forward to many years later, Peter is an old amputee, talking to his son]
Peter's Son: Grandpa-san, how bad was the bad door?
Peter: Not too bad, but shorty afterwards, I was almost eaten alive by an escalator.
[Buzzer goes off]
Peter: The game is still going on?
Japanese Guy: Oh, ho, ho. You lose chess.

[Stewie is teaching Brian how to drive]
Stewie: IPDE, Brian, IPDE!
Brian: What?
Stewie: IPDE! Identify, predict, decide, execute. You've got to constantly be IPDEing everything in your target zone.
Brian: I ... I ... I ... I don't know what you're saying.
Stewie: IPDE! Identify, predict, ...
Brian: Yeah, you said that but it doesn't mean any ...
Stewie: IPDE THAT!
Brian: Um, it's a child with a ball.
Stewie: Very good, identify. Now predict.
Brian: Predict what?
Stewie: IPDE!
Brian: You keep saying that like it's a word. Those four letters don't make a word. It's not helping me remember anything.
Stewie: Oh, now you've got an oncoming vehicle. Pay attention to your four to six second zone.
Brian: What? What is that? Four to six second?
Stewie: IPDE the car. IPDE the car!
Brian: What does that mean?
Stewie: Now, check your gages with one eye, while keeping your other eye on the road.
Brian: My eyes go in the same direction.
Stewie: What's your tire pressure?
Brian: I ... I can't ... I don't ... I'm in the car!
Stewie: Stop! [Brian stops the car] Demerit!
Brian: Stewie, I know how to drive. I've been driving for years!
[Another guy drives by]
Guy: Ever hear of IPDE, jackass!?

[Peter craps, orgasms, and barfs, while wearing a suit]
Peter: Aw, crap. THis thing was a rental.
[Cutaway to Peter rushing into the store, throwing the tux in there, and leaving in a hurry]
Peter: Here's your tux back, bye!

Previous Episode's Quotes /// Carter and Tricia's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki