- Peter: Ah, the water park. Happy anniversary, Lois.
- Isabella: My top came off on the slide. I think I may have seen ... you put it in your shorts.
- Chris: Okay, well here's my shorts. [Chris takes off his shorts, which are full of bikini tops] Just fish out the one that's yours.
- Chris: I saw Lady and the Tramp, so I asked if we could eat spaghetti in the alley, but they said no cuz of all the homeless masturbation.
- Isabella: Aw, I love that movie.
- Lois: Are you sure you wanna date a girl who's ... had so much experience?
- Chris: What do you mean?
- Lois: Like, maybe she's got some city miles on her vuvu.
- Stewie: Not to mention a couple of blowouts. [chuckles] Hey, Bri.
- Brian: Yup, I heard you.
- Brian: Look, I can see why you're concerned that Chris' girlfriend has kids, but, he's happy and she seems like she's into him. Plus she's ... [bites lip] she's hot.
- Lois: [biting her lip] Yeah, she is.
- Peter: [lips covered in blood] I bit my lip off.
- [Someone throws rocks at Chris' bedroom window]
- Chris: [sigh] Go away, Mr. Herbert.
- Herbert: [offscreen] It's not me. I'm in your closet.
- [Consuela works as the new CEO of Yahoo]
- Guy: Maybe we should improve out business model.
- Consuela: No ... no.
- Girl: Improve out original content?
- Consuela: No ... no.
- Guy: So, we have no corporate identity?
- Consuela: We secondary Email, people use to sign up for for sites.
- [Peter holds the newspaper upside down]
- Meg: Uh, dad, you're reading the paper upside down.
- [Peter lowers the paper, revealing his head is upside down]
- Peter: Wrong again, idiot.
- Lois: What makes you think you can take care of two babies?
- Chris: I don't know. I've seen her take care of them. I've seen you with Stewie. Frankly, it doesn't seem that hard.
- Stewie: You just shattered her world ... shattered!
- Chris: If you'll excuse me, these two need to eat.
- Stewie: He bought a breast feeding book. Someone may wanna pop in on him.
- Peter: I made pretty good money, when I hosted that confusing game show.
- [Cutaway to Peter on a confusing game show]
- Peter: Alright, Phil come stand by me. It's Ashley's turn. Ashley go ahead. Pink an answer, find a question, spin the table and remember, the clock is ticking backwards.
- Ashley: I'll pass?
- [Wrong buzzer goes off]
- Peter: Congrats! You win. Sorry to see you go, and Phil, we'll see you tomorrow. That's all the time we have. For those of you, playing at home, Why and How? Audience?
- Audience: Why and How!
- Peter: Stop that!
- Isabella: Chris! What in the mind of Mencia are you doing here?
- Quagmire: Hey, you must be Isabella. I came as soon as I heard about you and then I got on my plane. Huh, huh. Alright.
- Chris: Boy, I can't believe there'd be corrupt cops in Mexico.
- Peter: Donald Trump was right ... his daughter is a hot piece of ass.
- Consuela: Time for clean getaway.
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