Lois is shown Brian's collar.
Lois hires an irritating maid for the family, while Brian teaches a lesson about the importance of the life of other animals.
Season: 8 Episode: 8
Total Episode Count: 134
Prod. no.: 7ACX07
First Aired: November 29, 2009
Guest Starring: Nathan Gunn, Kel MacFarlane, Chris Matthews
Featuring: Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Peter Griffin, Lois Griffin, Consuela
Also Appearing: Chris Griffin, Meg Griffin, Joe Swanson, Glenn Quagmire, Mort Goldman, Bruce, Mayor Adam West, Bonnie Swanson, Kathy, Rupert, Mikey, Bill, Chris Matthews, Harry Reid, Kurtwood Smith, Barney the Dog, Tom Tucker, Diane Simmons
Director: Julius Wu
: John BanhWriters
: Steve Callaghan Storyboarders
: Kurt Dumas
, Steve Fonti
, Jeff Stewart Plot
Brian finds a website that has chosen to read and discuss his book "Faster Than the Speed of Love". But when he then goes to the Pizza Parlor, where it is being held, he discovers that the people that like his book are mentally disabled. He gets drunk over realizing what a bad writer he is, then accidentally runs over another dog on the way home. He attempts to hide the body but his conscience get the better of him. When he comes clean, he is surprised to see that no one cares, so he tries to convince everyone that the life of a dog should have the same value as a human one. When he finds he can't change people's minds he becomes depressed. Stewie is touched by his emotion and decides to show him how much he is appreciated by the Griffins by faking his death and letting him see the result. Brian is uplifted by this, and when Stewie asks if he wants to come clean, Brian decides to give them a few more minutes.
Meanwhile, Lois has finally grown fed up of Peter's messes, after spending half an hour trying to clean some Kool-aid off the floor. She hires Consuela the Hispanic maid, who turns out to be even worse. She even takes a thousand dollars of Stewie's play money, thinking it was real, and when Peter and Lois try to fire her, she stays anyway. Peter bribes her with $40, but she takes the money and stays. Peter has to knock her out with chloroform, and then drops her off at Joe's house in a basket.