Lois: I think Meg might have a coke problem
Peter: No Coke! Pepsi! Oh Come on, You set me up for that one!

Dr. Diddy: Let me explain something to you aight, We got to get'er half naked,and put her out front center stage and that's going to make y'all billionaires, Because America loves hot white jailbait ass.
Peter: Wait a minute, that's the smartest thing I've ever heard anyone say about anything.

Meg: Face it mom, no matter what I wear, I look ugly!
Lois: Oh, Meg, you're bein'... That's... Let's try down here.

Meg: I got a make over, Dad! Don't I look great?
Peter: Aw, Meg, honey, I always thought you were beautiful just the way...[Laughs] Oh God, couldn't do that with a straight face!

Meg: Mom? Dad? Am I ugly?

Lois: Oh, what about this, Meg? A pink baby tee that says "Little Slut." That seems pretty hip.

Meg: Mom! Dad! He used me for comedy!

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