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Down's Syndrome Girl

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Down's Syndrome Girl
Down Syndrome Girl
From the episode: Extra Large Medium
Singers: Stewie Griffin
Voices: Seth MacFarlane

Down's Syndrome Girl is an Emmy nominated musical number sung by Stewie to Chris in order to prepare for his date with Ellen. It is an homage to song and dance numbers from musical movies starring Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly where the main character prepares another man for a date. It is performed in Extra Large Medium.

Listen

Downs Syndrome Girl

Lyrics

You've got to look your best tonight,
You tubby little parasite,
'Cause there's a lovely lady and she's waiting for you.
And though her pretty face may seem
A special person's wettest dream
Before you get to see it there are things you must do.
We'll try a tie and boutonniere of yellow
Or a rose that shows that you're a classy fellow
With the posh panache of Jefferson at Monticello
Busting out a mile with style.
I know you just can't wait to stare
At all that luscious orange hair
But, boy, before you touch a single curl,
You must impress that ultra bloomin',
All-consumin', poorly groomin'
Down's Syndrome girl.
On any normal day you reek
As if you're on a farting streak.
Your finger's up your nose And you are dripping with drool.
But if you want a lady's love,
You're better off by smelling of
A gentleman's cologne instead of sneakers and stool.
A squirt, a spurt
Of something just for Ellen
And you'll see, that she
Will find you so compellin'
And she does, because
The only smell that she'll be smellin'
Won't be coming from your bum.
(farts)
You wanna take that little whore
And spin her on the dancing floor,
But boy, before you do a single twirl,
You must impress that effervescing,
Self-possessing, no BS-ing
Down's Syndrome girl.
Her eyes are emerald portals
To a secret land of love
And her smile is like the sweetest summer flower.
Her kiss is so inviting
And her hugs are so delighting,
And what makes them really nice
Is that they've got a little spice,
Because they're tighter than a vise
And they go on for an hour.
(Stewie and Chris tap dance)
My boy, between the two of us,
We'll get you on that shorty bus
And then you're gonna take it for a whirl.
Now go impress that super-thrilling,
Wish-fulfilling, Yoo-Hoo spilling,
Ultra-swinging, boner-bringing,
Gaily singing, dingalinging,
Stupefying, fortifying,
As of Monday, shoelace tying,
Stimulating, titillating,
Kitty-cat impersonating,
Mega-rocking, pillow-talking,
Just a little crooked walking,
Coyly pouting, booby-sprouting:
For some reason always shouting,
Fascinating, captivating,
Happiness and joy creating...
(glass shatters)
Down's Syndrome Girl!

Comic-Con Lyrics

When Seth MacFarlane performed the song live at Comic-Con 2010 which appear on the DVD set of Family Guy Volume 9. He sang the bridge with completely different lyrics. This version is also used the DVD cut of the episode:

Her eyes are emerald portals
To a secret land of love
And they seem to say we'll open just for Chris.
They shine like sunny weather,
And they're close enough together...
That if they so desire
They create a little fire,
They could reach across the nose
And give each other a kiss.

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