Peter: Gee, I'd like to play Doctor with her...and remove her appendix before it bursts, causing sepsis.

Quagmire: Giggity, GIGGITY!

Quagmire: Seeing her wants to make my testicles drop. Oop speak of the devil. Oop make that devils

Dr. Hartman: Mayor West, you have lymphoma.
Mayor Adam West: Oh my.
Dr. Hartman: Probably from rolling around in that toxic waste.
Mayor Adam West: I see.
Dr. Hartman: What in God's name were you trying to prove?
Mayor Adam West: I was trying to gain super powers.
Dr. Hartman: Well, that's just silly!
Mayor Adam West: Silly, yes. Idiotic, yes.

Diane: You're so deep in the closet you're finding Christmas presents.

Tom Tucker: Coming up next, Can Bees Think? A new study confirms that no, they cannot.

Death: Oh, thanks! Like I don't have enough trouble fitting in!

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