- Peter: [to Lois] I want you on my team for everything...except for sports.
- [Stewie farts on Peter while he's sitting at the table with an electric fan. The fart travels back to Stewie.]
- Stewie: Ah! Friendly fire!
- [A group stands graveside]
- Quagmire: We're supposed to dig this kid up. Any volunteers?
- Herbert: [in mining gear]I dig kids.
- [Chris jet skis to Block Island with Meg]
- Chris: Why are your nipples poking into me?!
- Meg: Sorry! That happens when I'm cold.
- Chris: But why are there THREE of them?!
- Meg: They're aren't! Two of them are moles.
- Chris: Those numbers still don't add up!
- Tricia: [Dressed as Lois] I will have one scoop of mint chocolate chip in a waffle cone.
- Peter: You are a practical, straight-forward people.
- Peter: [to Lois] Can you forgive me? Chris forgave me.
- Chris: [holding an ice pack on his black eye] I can't wait until you fall asleep tonight.
- Meg: [trying to put down the car window] Dad, it smells like rotting flesh in here! Take the window lock off.
- Peter: Can't do that, Meg. I don't trust myself not to jump out the window.
- Peter: [arriving at Old Block Island Cemetery with Lois] Damn it Lois, they're already here! This is all your fault!
- Lois: What? How is this my fault?
- Peter: Because you just had to stop for ice cream, then you get in there and you order like you never heard of food before!
- [cut to Peter and Lois at an ice cream stand]
- Lois: Oh, coffee fudge swirl with Reese's peanut butter cups. Oh, I wonder what's in that.
- Peter: You just listed off all the ingredients! Everything you just said is what's in that!
- Peter: Suzuki Samurai: ninja name, garbage car.
- [Joe defends the dugout with a baseball bat at McCoy Stadium during the treasure hunt]
- Joe: This dugout is mine! You hear me?!
- Bruce: Well, you can take that bat and shove it up my ass mister.
- Peter: [devising a plan to enter the Clam] This is worse than the time we were in the Clam right now. [Peter and Lois appear inside the Clam] Yes!
- Peter: [after learning the treasure is an expired coupon] Um, this sucks worse than when I went to the strip club without Lois. [appears at a strip club] Yay!
- Peter: [after hearing a knock at the door] No way that's the shrimp!
Previous Episode's Quotes /// Finders Keepers's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 11 | Family Guy Season 12 | Season 13 >> | |||||||||
| #01 | Finders Keepers | #08 | Christmas Guy | #15 | Secondhand Spoke | ||||||
| #02 | Vestigial Peter | #09 | Peter Problems | #16 | Herpe, the Love Sore | ||||||
| #03 | Quagmire's Quagmire | #10 | Grimm Job | #17 | The Most Interesting Man in the World | ||||||
| #04 | A Fistful of Meg | #11 | Brian's a Bad Father | #18 | Baby Got Black | ||||||
| #05 | Boopa-Dee Bappa-Dee | #12 | Mom's the Word | #19 | Meg Stinks! | ||||||
| #06 | Life of Brian | #13 | 3 Acts of God | #20 | He's Bla-ack! | ||||||
| #07 | In Harmony's Way | #14 | Fresh Heir | #21 | Chap Stewie | ||||||