Stewie: Oh, break a leg up there, Brian.
Brian: Hmm, you seem awfully enthusiastic.
Stewie: Well, at first I wanted you to fail, but then I realized you'd be out of the house five days a week, which means I'd be free to throw some of my sexy parties.

Meg: I can't Believe you guys!
Peter: Meg, how could you bring that naked kid into our house?!
Meg: Because I like him! He remembers my name!
Lois: Well, I'm sorry honey, but we don't think you should see him anymore. [Meg gasps, and runs up to her room, crying] Aw, I hate the sound of her crying.

Lois: Peter, do you think maybe it was unfair of us to tell Meg she couldn't see that boy?
Peter: Oh, completely, we totally reamed her! Did you see the look in her eye? She hates you!

Simon: Well, it looks like we have to reconsider. Brian, we want you...
Brian: Yes!
Simon: the stage. But your young friend there would make a perfect addition to the school's rising star program.
Stewie: Woh, splendid. This calls for a sexy party.

Herbert: Holy moly. It must be my birthday!

Elroy: D'you know who I am? I'm Elroy Jetson!
Barkeep: Yeah, yeah; come back when you have some money. Take him home, Bamm-Bamm.
Bamm-Bamm: Bam-bam, bam.
Elroy: I don't wanna go home! Take me to Astro's grave.

Chris: Mom, I need new batteries for my Walkman. Hey, why is everybody else naked?

Meg: Thanks, you guys, that was really cool.
Quagmire: Hey, Peter, can I borrow your lawnmow... [gasps and talks incoherently] You folks got a towel?

Stewie: Oh, hello! Didn't notice you there. You know, it's not easy living with my family; bunch'a characters they are, like my father. [imitates Peter] Holy crap, Lois! Check out the freaking log in the toilet.
Elroy: Get off the stage!

Stewie: I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

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