- Meg: I tell ya, Sundays are the best. Aren't they?
- Peter: You said it, chief. [to Chris] Hey, Chris. What's the name of the girl on the end of the couch? I'm sure I've met her before.
- Chris: I'll introduce myself to her. That'll get her to say it. [to Meg] Hi, I'm Chris.
- Meg: Hi, Chris.
- Chris: Well, that didn't work.
- [Peter's monocle falls off, after he hears talk about new technology]
- Peter: Heavens!
- Corey: That Nazi stuff I said was in the heat of a very competitive Halo game and congratulations to Goldblatt69, whose people definitely do not control the media and all banking.
- Peter: Oh, awesome! Look over there! You can take a selfie in a hospital bed to get social media attention!
- [Peter posts a picture of himself in a hospital bed and gets tons of media attention]
- Peter: Oh boy, well this is the last thing I wanted.
- Brian: Hey, you know how Snapchat puts a fake dog tongue on you? How'd you like a real one?
- [Brian strikes out with some girls]
- Brian: Ah, times have changed. Three years ago, I would've been a hero.
- Stewie: Three years ago, they would've been twelve.
- Peter: Is there anything you can do?
- Meg: Uh, yeah actually, I can [long censored beep, accompanied by suggestive hand movements].
- Peter: [disturbed and crying] Is ... Is there anything you can do in front of your dad?
- Meg: I can shuffle a deck of cards.
- Peter: [relieved] Ah, good.
- Meg: With my [long censored beep, accompanied by finger motions and gestures toward her crotch].
- Peter: Alright, we're taking your bedroom door off the hinges.
- Dr. Hartman: Meg has type 2 diabetes. The one, where you're supposed to shame her, not feel sorry for her.
- Tom: Coming up, local anchor brings a concealed weapon to work...as is his right.
- Meg: Pancresta. Makes opiates looks like fucking baby aspirin.
- [Brian drives his Hummer]
- Brian: OUT OF THE WAY, YOU OLD BAG!
- Stewie: Brian, that's Paul McCartney doing Carpool Karaoke songs we can afford.
- [Paul McCartney sings karaoke in the car]
- Paul McCartney: [singing] She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes. Whooooo!
- [Car mechanic fixes Brian's Prius]
- Car Mechanic: All set. You can probably get another 130,000 miles out of this thing.
- Brian: Well, let's see I drive about 4,000 a year so when this car goes, I'll be ...
- Stewie: Dead for 18 years.
- Peter: Well, I'm glad everything's back to normal.
- Lois: No, it isn't! Meg got the dead janitor's feet, Brian and Stewie got thrown into New Hampshire by The Hulk, and you're a beam of light!
- Chris: I have The Shining now!
- Lois: And Chris has The Shining now!
- Peter: Lois, just do a line of Panc.
- [Lois does a line of Pancresta]
- Lois: Ahhh, Road House!
- Peter: Road House.
- Sam Elliot: Road House...is a movie I was in.
Previous Episode's Quotes /// Girl, Internetted's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 16 | Family Guy Season 17 | Season 18 >> | ||||||
| #01 | Married...With Cancer | #08 | Con Heiress | #15 | No Giggity, No Doubt | |||
| #02 | Dead Dog Walking | #09 | Pawtucket Pete | #16 | You Can't Handle the Booth! | |||
| #03 | Pal Stewie | #10 | Hefty Shades of Gray | #17 | Island Adventure | |||
| #04 | Big Trouble in Little Quahog | #11 | Trump Guy | #18 | Throw It Away | |||
| #05 | Regarding Carter | #12 | Bri, Robot | #19 | Girl, Internetted | |||
| #06 | Stand By Meg | #13 | Trans-Fat | #20 | Adam West High | |||
| #07 | Griffin Winter Games | #14 | Family Guy Lite |
| ||||