Family Guy Wiki

High School English/Quotes

< High School English

5,849pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share
Gatsby: I come down here to think every night and gaze at that green light. It's where the love of my life lives. Daisy Buchanan.
Nick: Um, I hate to break it to you, but that green light you've been looking at is a gay gym called the Pump House. [nervously] I ... I only know that because I ... I saw a coupon that came with my rental.

Gatsby: You know, sometimes I just wanna jump off this balcony and into that pool down there.
Daisy: So do it.
Gatsby: Yeah, I know right? [chuckles] Do it!
Daisy: Yeah, do it.
Gatsby: I know, I totally should, right? Here I go. One ... two .. three ... Whoa! [laughs] Can you imagine?
Daisy: Yeah, I can imagine. It would be fun. You should do it.
Gatsby: If only it here that easy, right?
Daisy: It is. It ... it looks deep enough. It's your pool. It's your house. You can do whatever you want.
Gatsby: I know right? Uh, you know, I can't right now. My pool guy's cleaning it.
[RJ is shown to be the pool guy]
RJ: Are you going to bone her?

Daisy: Nick, have you met Jordan? She plays golf and is what kids will someday call a duff.
Nick: Hey, yeah. Nice Tam o'shanter.
Jordan: I'll drink your finger bowl if you don't want it.
Nick's Narration: In the book, I actually go on a few dates with Jordan. We're gonna skip all that.

Tom: I'd like to add another bit of pointless confusion that will make sense later. Let's everyone drive someone else's car.
Gatsby: Someone can take my coop.
Nick: I'm riding with Gatsby, I don't care which car.
Jordan: I'll take someone in Daisy's car.
Tom: I don't think Daisy said you could drive her car.
Daisy: Tom, why don't you take Jay's car?
Tom: Who's Jay?
Daisy: Gatsby.
Tom: Okay, I have never heard anyone call him that.
Nick: Look, if you're in your own car, you're in the wrong car.

Nick: So, you've seen any good movies lately?
George: We just saw Woman Tied to Railroad Tracks 5. Pretty similar to 4.

Tom: Hello, room service? I'd like a bottle of your second most expensive champagne.
Gatsby: And I'd like your most expensive bottle.
Tom: Wow, walked right into that one.

Tom: I hear Gatsby didn't even fight in World War I.
Nick: Wait, why is he calling it that? [worried] Is there gonna be another big war?

Tom: Hi, Huckleberry Finn.
Huck: Hi, Tom Sawyer. You're Tom. I'm Huck. [to the camera] Everybody good?

Pap: Hey, I'm your abusive dad and I've been drinking all day from this here jug.
Huck: [Notices the jug has XXX on it] Oh my God! Is that a jug full of porn? Hey, Widow Douglas, I wanna live with my dad!

Huck: I wish you wouldn't drink so much.
Pap: Stop counting my drinks! Now, get over here so I can hwip you!
[Pap starts whipping Huck]
Huck: Ow! Pap! No!
Pap: Yeah, that's right bitch and now it's your turn.

Huck: I know. I'll fake my own death. I just need enough blood to make it look real.
Pig: Hey there. You must be Huck. Great to finally meet you. I hope you like it here.
Huck: I'm gonna stab you for your blood.
Pig: Oh, come on. I just got shot in the pool in the last one.
[Huck stabs and kills the pig]
Huck: I can't remember why I needed the blood.

Huck: My name's Huck Finn. What's half of your name?
Jim: Jim.

Huck: Hey, what's that sound?
Jim: Oh no. It sounds like a waterfall!
Huck: Hold on!
[Huck and Jim fall over the waterfall and die]
Jim: We died.
[Huck and Jim were seen alive in the next scene]
Jim: So, wait. We didn't die?
Huck: I don't know. It's all just jokes.

Huck: Oh, did you see that?
Jim: What?
Huck: I just skipped that rock six times! That's a once in a lifetime skip!
Jim: That's nice.
Huck: You don't believe me, do you?
Jim: I believe we've been out here a long time and a man's mind begins to play tricks on him
Huck: It happened for real! I can't believe you didn't see it!
Jim: [thought] Of course I saw it. Most amazing damn thing I ever did witness, but I wasn't gonna tell Huck, cuz he claimed he didn't see me hook shot that apple core into the garbage from way far away.

Huck: Hey, what if it's spelled with an "A" at the end of it. Is that okay?

Huck: Tom Sawyer! What are you doing so far from home?
Tom: Rush is playing here tonight. They wrote a song about me.

Slim: Hey there strangers. Welcome to Phelps Ranch. People call me Slim.
George: Ironically, I assume.

Slim: Alright, you guys are doing great. Hey, listen, my dog just had puppies and I thought since you're covered with feces and I barely know you, I'll give you a delicate, snow white, newborn puppy.
Puppy: Okay, just don't give me to dead eyes over there because I've already been killed twice in the other two stories and I don't wanna ...
Lenny: Puppy!
[Lenny squeezes the puppy and it dies]
Puppy: Aaaah, fuck!
Lenny: This puppy doesn't work.

George: So, I should be home by 10:00. It's just this piano bar/cabaret place called Tinkles. Rory told be about it.
Lenny: Who's Rory?
George: You remember him. The field hand who gave me a shoulder ride back to the house. That was Rory. Anyway, it sounds like it's just a hoot.
Lenny: Wow, maybe you'll meet a pretty lady to get married to there.
George: [nervously] Yeah, well, that's the idea.
Lenny: While you're gone, can I touch myself?
George: Uh, again. You don't have to schedule that with me.

Curly's Wife: Well, hello there. If it isn't the sexy imbecile.
Lenny: Oh, hi. Sorry about what I did to your husband earlier.
Curly's Wife: Yes, that was quite a hand job you did on him. You know, I'm not so bad at those, myself.
Lenny: I'm not gonna lie to you. You're wasting your double entendres on me.

George: Bye bye Lenny. [shoots Lenny] Good night, kids. Good luck with those book reports.

Previous Episode's Quotes /// High School English's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki