Stewie: Never! Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the Wright Brothers!
Stewie: So broccoli, Mother says you're very good for me; well I'm afraid I'm no good for you! The first rule of war is know thy enemy and I know this! Cold kills broccoli! It's so simple! All I need to do is build a machine to control the global environment... Forecast for tomorrow: a few sprinkles of genius, with a chance of doom!
Brian: Hey, barkeep, whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?
Tom Tucker: Because of an accident today at the Quahog cable company, all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program, so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the Lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets, how about you, Diane?