Chris: [yelling to Peter and Quagmire] Guys, I'm trying to do something up here that works better if I don't hear men singing.

Quagmire: [meditating] I can be Giggity. I can be Goo.

Stewie: Meg, could you zip up your fly? That's kind of wafting over here.

Chris: So did you get a lot of trim on the road?
Peter: [nodding] Chris, that's wildly inappropriate.

Quagmire: What was Simon without Garfunkel?
Peter: Wildly successful?

Kermie Jr.: Kill me! I'm in constant pain!

Quagmire: [extending his hand] Put 'er there!
Mort: No, I've seen your prescriptions. Let's just say we're doing it.
Peter: Well Mort, I hope I can trust you. I've been lied to before.
[cut to the Griffins in the kitchen]
Peter: Well, I'm off to work. Bye guys, love you!
Chris: Love you, too!
Stewie: Love you, Pop!
Lois: Bye, love you!
[when Peter exits, they begin laughing]
Chris: He bought it!
Stewie: What an idiot!
Lois: I hate him so much, I'm shakin'!

Lois: Peter, I don't like what success is doin' to you!
Peter: Yeah? Well I don't like what time is doin' to you. [points to Lois' breasts] Droop, droop. [points to Lois' vagina and imitates an explosion] Hey Chris, you ready with my luggage?
Lois: Luggage? For what?!
Peter: We're goin' on tour, Lois.
Chris: Here you go, Dad. I emptied this out so it'd be easier to carry.

Lois: You're gonna have to choose between music and family.
Peter: If I choose family, does it have to be this family?
Lois: Yes Peter, this family!

Peter: I feel kinda bad leavin' the family like this with Thanksgiving comin' up. I mean, if I'm not there, who's gonna carve the turkey?
[cut to Lois vacuuming a turkey]
Lois: I don't understand!

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