Jesus Christ
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 "Why is the ironing board still out?" | |
| Full Name: | Jesus Christ |
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| Voiced by: | Seth MacFarlane (early episodes), Alec Sulkin (later episodes), Seth Green as Young Jesus in The Courtship of Stewie's Father |
| Age: | |
| Jobs: | |
| Quotes: Oh, Jesus Christ | |
Episodes:
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According to the central tenet of the Christian religion, Jesus Christ is the son of God. His resurrection from the dead is the main article of faith of that religion.
[edit] Story
Family Guy references Jesus on numerous occasions, often in less than flattering associations.
- A standing gag is that Jesus drives a Cadillac Escalade. During North by North Quahog, he is seen in the car in an action trailer for Mel Gibson's movie sequel "Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This" and is portrayed by Jim Caviezel opposite Chris Tucker.
- During Blind Ambition, God is seen hitting on a woman in The Drunken Clam. After lighting her cigarette with a lightning bolt, God accidentally sets the bar on fire by pointing at the woman, causing lightning to strike her, upon which she explodes from the immense heat causing a fire to erupt. As God screams "Jesus Christ!", Jesus comes in and God tells him to "Get the Escalade, we're outta here!".
- In Chitty Chitty Death Bang, Jesus also has the power to turn water into funk.
- Stu Griffin (older Stewie) in Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, explains time travel vacations to Stewie by relating his previous vacation to biblical times, when he went back to see Jesus Christ. He observes that "his abilities may have been exagerated a bit", and the action shows Jesus performing some rather weak party tricks to a group of onlookers (including Stu in modern day garb).
- In Deep Throats, in response to Lois' question "What if Jesus had given up?", he is seen in a shabby domestic setting, lazing in a chair, kids running amok around him, and he calls out to their mother "Why is the ironing board still out?".
- According to Boys Do Cry, Stewie admires Jesus, and imagines what it would be like to meet him. He enters a room in Jesus' house to find him standing in a tub washing himself. Seeing Stewie watching him, he squeezes the water out of the sponge, rinsing away the suds from his body.
- In Petergeist, according to Stewie Jesus is actually Chinese and his second name is Hong. Stewie also explains that Jesus has no idea where the surname Christ came from.
- According to the National Gun Association's movie in And the Wiener is..., Jesus and Moses used guns to defeat the Romans.
- During his second coming, shown in Stewie Loves Lois, Jesus' stature is found to be short, as historians will tell you people were shorter in biblical times.
- Peter somehow confuses Jesus with the Incredible Hulk during Mr Weed's funeral, seen in Mr. Saturday Knight.
- Jesus gets involved with "Quantum Leap" during The Father, the Son, and the Holy Fonz, being threatened with a shotgun after kissing a farmer's wife; he responds with "Oh Boy!!"
- In I Dream of Jesus, Jesus is questioned by Brian "How do we know you're the real Jesus?" and Jesus responds by making their dinner into ice cream, then Peter asks Jesus to make Lois's breasts bigger and Brian is awe struck. Later, he walks on water to retrieve Peter's dollar.
- Peter thanks Jesus when Carter Pewterschmidt admits he had a good time with Peter in Screwed the Pooch. Jesus starts to explain that is wasn't actually him who had helped, when Shiva interrupts to say that it doesn't matter as he's used to it.
- Jesus has a friend called Trevor, who said "Hello" to him during "The Bachelorette", as seen in Brian the Bachelor. Jesus is seen on the sofa eating crisps and watching the show, when the phone immediately rings, and he says "I know, I saw!"
- The Son of God also makes use of his powers to assist his golf game, during Holy Crap. Although "Employee of the Week" at Happy-Go-Lucky Toys, he is on the golf course going for his fourth Birdie. He makes his swing, and the ball lands extremely close to the hole, on the verge of going in. Using his power, he gets the ball to go in.
- In typical broken family mode, when things are not working out at Joseph and Mary's, Jesus calls his real father, God, to ask if he can come to stay with him. According to The Courtship of Stewie's Father, God claims it is not a good time (he is in bed with a young woman).
- In Family Goy, Jesus repays the Griffins a visit to straighten their identities.
