Chris: Illusions? You wanna talk about illusions? If you died tomorrow, you think we're gonna be devastated, but ya know what? We're just gonna go out and buy another dog, and maybe this dog will fetch a stick and bring me my slippers instead of prattling on about the pros and cons of various religions!
Lois: Chris, I think you've had too much sugar cereal.
Chris: [bellowed] I think I've haven't had enough!

Peter: Hey, everybody! We're all gonna get laid!

Peter: It's go time.

Peter: Wait a minute, Christian Science? Is that that thing all them gaybo Hollywood actors do to keep their stuff away from other guys' butts?

Peter: Ok, now take this walkie-talkie and confirm I'm at the various checkpoints.
Lois: Huh, ok. [Speaks into walkie-talkie] Peter up on telephone pole?
Peter: [Spying from a telephone pole, lowers binoculars] Check.
Lois: Peter cutting the wires to the alarm?
Peter: [Cuts the wire] Check.
Lois: Sexy Peter distracting the guards?
Peter: [dressed as a prostitute] Check. [To the guards] Hello boys! Come out and have sex with me sometime.
Lois: Van full of Peters with stern faces because they're about to pull off a heist.
Peter:[Shows a vanful of stern-faced Peters] Check.
Lois: Upside-down Peter who isn't revealed to be upside-down until the camera spins around and shows that he is.
Peter: [Appears rightside-up until the camera spins around to show he's upside-down] Check.
Lois: Peter in an open airplane door, slapping Peters on the back as they parachute out.
Peter:[slapping other Peters as they parachute out] Go! Go-go-go-go-go! [into walkie-talkie] Check!
Lois: Super gymnastic Asian Peter, contorted into a box that will be delivered into the house.
Asian Peter:[Shows Peter rolling in a crate and x-rays to reveal Asian Peter inside] Hai!
Lois: Peter who hasn't answered because something has gone terribly wrong. [Shows the walkie-talkie on the floor] Peter? Peter, are you there?

Peter: I am so happy for me, I deserve this. When do you think the Queen's gonna die?

Tricia Takinawa: Also arriving is my overprotective boyfriend, who is suspicious when I'm called into work late at night, even though I've been a reporter for years, Tyrone.

Scotty: I don't feel so well... [collapses into the card deck]
Stewie: Kind of bad timing, but.. [Puts his cards down] Gin.

Brian: Oh, really? So with this book from the 1800s, you can pray away paralysis or terminal illness?

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