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Lois Griffin

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Lois Griffin

Lois!
Full Name: Lois Griffin, Lois Pewterschmidt, Lois Quagmire (Meet the Quagmires)
Voiced by: Alex Borstein
Age:
Jobs:

Piano Teacher,
Prostitute (No Chris Left Behind)
Flight Attendent
Mayor of Quahog (It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One)
Fox News Reporter (FOX-y Lady)
Waitstaff (No Meals On Wheels)

Quotes:
  • "I've seen that crappy Julia Roberts movie 47 times. Have you seen the lips on that woman? Like a baboon's ass on her face."
  • "My daughter needs a makeover like there's no freaking tomorrow!"
  • "Kids, we just have to learn to accept this. Like one of those stories on Dateline, where a family member suffers a horrible accident and becomes a burden on everybody. Sure, they pretend to be happy, but they're dead inside. They're dead. And that'll be our lives."
  • (When Meg says she had plans) "Meg, if you don't want to baby sit anymore that's fine, but don't you sit there and lie to me like that."
  • "You got to push back a little! You got to get a little rough! Oh, God, Peter! Hit me!"(Brian then smacks her on her butt)
  • "I'm like one of those bald eagles on the Discovery Channel. Beautiful to look at, but mess with one of my chicks and I'll use my razor sharp talons to rip your <DING!> eyes out. Cookies are done!"
  • (After Peter exclaims he accidentally shot her) "I know! Now stick your finger in there and twist it!"
  • "Peter, I care as much about the size of your penis as you care about the size of my breasts."
  • "Chris you can't join the army! Besides, the army's weak. Now the Marines! Those are the men you wanna fuck."
  • "What was that? What is she your grandmother? That's no kiss, watch this."
Episodes:

All

Lois Griffin née Pewterschmidt is Peter's sandwich-nosed wife and daughter of the extremely wealthy Pewterschmidts.


Contents

[edit] Background

Born Lois Pewterschmidt, she met Peter when he was employed as a towel boy. Her rich father cannot stand Peter and makes mean comments at every chance he gets. Peter seems to unintentionally do his absolute best to be a thorn in her side. Lois lives at 31 Spooner Street with Peter, and their three children: Chris, Meg and Stewie, and also Brian, the talking, anthropomorphic family dog.

[edit] Personality

Lois appears to have a taste for Sadomasochism (S&M), dressing as a dominatrix in Let's Go to the Hop, putting out a lit cigarette on her arm in Breaking Out is Hard to Do, asking Peter to put his finger in a bullet hole and twist it when he accidentally shoots her in Barely Legal and directing Peter to kick her breasts in Brian's Got a Brand New Bag. In another episode when her and Meg go on Spring Break, during the awkward car-ride she tells Meg that she took birth control but taking antibiotics made it not work, (and that's how she got Meg). In the episode Peter's Daughter she tells Meg she could "Just drink and smoke a LOT to have a miscarriage, but don't stop half way through or you'll end up with Chris." Her one-year-old baby, Stewie is very much intent on killing her. Incidentally, this could be a direct result of smoking pot whilst pregnant with him. Her relationship with Meg is a complicated one. She has a way of being supportive and destructive at the same time. When being hurtful, she is extremely caustic. It's been said that Meg is not really Peter's daughter, but her biological father is named Stan Thompson--despite the fact she has Peter's build.

[edit] Random Facts

  • Lois had relationships with other men, especially those associated with 1980s rock bands, such as J. Geils, Daryl Hall, the "pyro guy" from the band Whitesnake, and Chaim Witz—now legally known as Gene Simmons of Kiss. Lois also had sex with Bill Clinton and shortly after Peter had sex with Bill Clinton as well.
  • She used to be a circus freak,apparently a dwarf like creature, who used a trampoline and shouted "Me likey bouncy!"
  • She was selected for an Olympic diving team, but ended up being pregnant with Meg instead.
  • She is very ticklish. Peter tackled her in one episode and tickled her until she was screaming for mercy.
  • She hates the sound of squeaking plastic wrap
  • She is 5'7" (67 inches) and weighs approximately 130 pounds.
  • She is a Protestant and Jewish, something that her father-in-law, Francis Griffin (a devout Roman Catholic) bitterly resents.
  • It is also popular belief that Lois's hair is shaped like the tip of a penis.
  • Lois has had five children, (Meg, Chris, Stewie, Peter Jr. and Other sister)

[edit] Lois's Sexual Orientation

Lois is almost always acting heterosexual, and there have signs in the entire series showing that she maybe a bisexual.

  • In the episode Brian Sings and Swings, Lois shared a kiss with one of Meg's lesbian friends to teach Meg how to kiss a girl.
  • In Stewie B. Goode when Peter is doing his 'Grind my Gears' bit, Lois says "Women are such teasers and that's why I went back to men" possibly meaning she is a former lesbian.
  • In Fifteen Minutes of Shame she told Meg and her friends at Meg's slumber party that she used to practice french kissing with her friends.
  • In Stew-Roids she is lustfully rubbing sunscreen on Bonnie's lower back for about 4 seconds.
  • In the premiere episode of The Cleveland Show, Cleveland asks Lois and Bonnie to make out. The two act awkward for about 5 seconds before passionately making out, thus shocking Joe, Peter, Brian and Quagmire and pleasing Cleveland.  

[edit] Future Death

In Quagmire's Baby, it is revealed that Chris nearly cut Lois in half and dragged out almost all of her organs with him. Her body had to be completely rearranged and the doctors said she would be lucky if she lived to 50. However, she said that was okay because Chris was healthy, and that was a gift from God.

[edit] Relatives

[edit] Filmography

The Griffin family has been in all episodes of Family Guy with execptions of Meg and Chris Griffin

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