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- Skunk: [To Brian] Oh, you don't like smell huh? Well, sniff on this!
- Brian: Holy crap! I'm so much faster on all fours!
- [Lois and Peter discuss Anal Roberts University]
- Peter: That is a tough, tough place to get into. That is tough. But once you're in there, you'll be surprised how much you like it.
- [after Stewie has been jailed for exposing his penis at Mardi Gras]
- Stewie: The rules of this city are very unclear.
- [Peter reveals he would have rather have been a podiatrist but gave it up to become a family man]
- Meg: You never got to pursue your dream. No wonder you hate me.
- Peter: I don't hate ya Meg. You're my kid.
- Crowd: Move that bus! [bus moves to reveal Bethenny Frankel] Put that bus back!
- [Brian scares the cockroaches out of the house]
- Peter: Oh that's not good. They were 70% of the structure of this house.
- Peter: See Meg, you can be in the flashback 'cause we're friends now.
- Peter: Hey Meg, you wanna huck some water balloons at nerds?
- Meg: Sure! [Peter throws a water balloon at Lois]
- Lois: What the hell? [Peter and Meg laugh]
- Peter: We'll work on the laugh, but you'll get there. To the Megcopter! [Peter and Meg board said vehicle and fly off] Huh, look down there. It looks like me with a green shirt. He's murderin' a lady!
- Retep: Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!
- Lois: Where are you goin' now?
- Peter: We're goin' two places: None o' Yo and Beeswax.
- [Covered in piercings, Meg walks into a magnet store and attracts most of the magnets]
- Peter: [after the last one attaches to his groin] I got a piercing, too.
- Brian: What's that big rock doin' there?
- Retep: Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!