Family Guy Wiki

Mr. Saturday Knight/Quotes

< Mr. Saturday Knight

5,838pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share
[Mr. Weed has just died. There is a knock on the front door to the Griffin residence]
Deep voice: Police! Random dead body search!
[Lois, Peter, and Brian panic. Peter tries to flush Mr. Weed's corpse down the toilet as Lois answers the door to find it is really Death]
Death: Ha ha! Naw, it is just me. I am only here to collect the dead body.
Lois: Peter! You can relax, it is only Death.
Peter: Oh, hey Death!
[Death takes the corpse and departs Griffin residence. Death's Dog appears]
Death's Dog: Hey, did someone choke on a dinner roll?
Brian: No, I recovered.
Death's Dog: Sorry about that.

The Black Knight: A word of advice... the path to knighthood is paved with strength and nobility, not LSD and sideburns.

Peter: I still remember my last job at The Electric Company.
[cutaway to the word spelling segment]
Man: D
Peter: ot
Man: B
Peter: et
Man: Bet
Peter: Bet I knew that, slow it down now.
Man: P
Peter: it
Man: Pit
Peter: Pit. Oh, come on pal, this is my first day.
Man: F
Peter: at
Man: Fat
Peter: Oh, that's it, buddy!

[While at Chris' career day]
Peter: Hey, kids! Hey, you know what I do? I work at a toy factory and you know what I do there?
Boy: I bet you're just one of those low-level assembly-line guys who stands there all day screwing heads on dolls. "Ooh, is it on straight? I don't know." Boo!
Peter: Why, you little snot-nosed...
Teacher: Mr. Griffin! He plays kickball in the park after school. Get him there.

Mort: I was once addicted to antihistamines. I took so many I thought I was Mr. Peanut.

Peter: You know, since money's getting tight, I was gonna suggest that we eat the kids. You know, jokingly at first, but then I was gonna gauge your reaction and if you were cool with it, we would go from there.

Peter: Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then he ran off. He got away with it. But most people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it. Well, actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today... only half the people who ever called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it.

Margot Kidder: AAAH! AAAH! AAAAAH! Forgot my purse. AAAAAH!

Stewie: I'd do her, do her, wouldn't do her. Ugh, who hasn't done her? Do her, lose the pigtails and we'll talk, do her, do her.

Peter: [Dressed as a prostitute] Hey. Looking for a good time, sweetcheeks?
Meg: Oh. My God.
Lois: Peter, get in the car!
Peter: Ok, but it'll cost you. What do you want, a Cleveland steamer?
Lois: I said get in the car...what's a Cleveland steamer?
Brian: It means that he'll...
Peter: [As a police car passes] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Be cool; be cool. Yes, so go to Maple Street and then take a left and then you go...ok, so you want a party or what?
Lois: Get in this car right now! [Peter complies]
Stewie: It's eerie, isn't it? Like looking into the future.

Black Knight: What's your fatass doing here?
Bruce: He's my only means of conveyance, but I guess I do spoil him.
Black Knight: Clearly, you do.

Mort: Take that, you bastard! Nobody makes a fool out of Mort Goldman!

Lois: Remember that episode of The Honeymooners when Ralph lost his job, but at the end of the show he didn't get it back?
Peter: Oh yeah. What was up with that? That bugged the crap out of me.

Previous Episode's Quotes /// Mr. Saturday Knight's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki