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- Peter: I did it! I'm gonna be on TV!
- Picture of his ancestor: Did you kill the others?
- Peter: I shan't!
- Picture of his ancestor: You must.
- Peter: [sighs] I'm gonna go talk to the statue in the basement.
- [Cut to the basement where Peter is standing next to the statue]
- Statue: Did you kill the painting?
- Peter: This place is a nuthouse.
- Peter:: Well, there goes my music career. I wonder I could get my old job back painting kids faces at birthday parties.
- [Cutaway with Peter painting a kid's face]
- Peter: There you go, Timmy.
- Man: Sir, you're gonna have to leave. You're just drawing penises with a Sharpie on children's faces.
- Peter: I don't know how to draw a cat.
- [Carter drinks a tureen of hollandaise sauce in an attempt to impress Reginald Barrington and throws up on Meg]
- Stewie: Hey Brian, [Indicating Meg] "Megs Benedict."
- Lois: Hey everyone, I made brownies!
- Stewie: I better hurry up, or I'm gonna miss the show!
- Lois: [sobbing after eating all the brownies] What did I do? What did I do? [vomits]
- Stewie: I love brownie day!