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- Bud: Thanks for the ride along. I liked it when you sentenced those two girls to kiss each other.
- Peter: Yeah, all girls are lesbians when you point a gun at them.
- Brian: Hey, what are you doing home so early?
- Stewie: He's following me, Brian.
- Brian: Who's following you?
- Stewie: Tom Cruise. I spent one afternoon with the guy and it's like I signed an eight year contract to show up at events with him and let him fake-father a child.
- Brian: Stewie, I would think Tom Cruise has better things to do than follow you around.
- Stewie: Oh really, well explain that. [points at Tom Cruise outside]
- Brian: You know, it's times like this where I think, if I didn't talk and you were a normal baby, we wouldn't have any of these problems.