"Parents Are Gross" is sung by Peter Griffin and Glenn Quagmire in "In Harmony's Way" on Conan O'Brien's show until Peter's antics cause Quagmire to storm offstage.
- Together: You never should look at your mother's boobies
- No matter how big and round they are
- You'll end up seeing something you don't wanna
- It's guaranteed to leave a mental scar
- You never should look at your daddy's penis
- When he's walkin' down the hall on Sunday morn
- An acorn in a nest of twigs
- And underneath two fetal pigs
- Uncensored version: An acorn in a bed of hair
- Is all you're gonna see down there
- It'll make you wish you weren't even born
- Parents are gross, parents are gross...
- [Peter drops his pick into the sound hole]
- Quagmire: Parents are gross, parents are gross...