Peter: Ah Chris, you're not tardy. We tested you twice.
Peter: Well, I think we all learned something today.
Tom Tucker: In other news, TVs still make noise, even when people resume their conversation. [Lois and Chris start talking] Yes, studies have been telling that merely turning your head and speaking to your fat and gross family members will not deactivate a functioning television. How crazy is that? You actually have to turn the TV off to keep on going.
Stewie: Let's go ahead and turn off the TV.
Tom Tucker: There we go.
Stewie: Lois, stop making him reminisce about stuff.
Peter: Did I just do a racism?
Peter: I wanna watch all of these movies nonstop. [Eleven minutes later] I don't wanna watch any of these movies, ever.
Peter: [As Conway Twitty plays] This is annoying; I don't wanna sit through this.
Peter: Oh my God! He's just rhyming "danger zone" with "danger zone."
Peter: I'm trying to save our son, Lois. I don't want him to end up like me: dead end job, crappy house, aging wife who's getting skinny where fat's supposed to be and fat where skinny's supposed to be.
Lois: Meg, go to your room.
Chris: [Getting a nosebleed] Yay! My nose is finally a woman!
Meg: Augh. I got a skin tag in my crack and it stings when I don't wipe right.
Stewie: This has been a bad dinner.
Brian: [At a book club meeting] Let's "dog-ear" this for a sec. [Chuckles] This one gets it.
Chris: This is why you're so great, Dad. You don't pretend to be someone you're not; you do what you want. You don't care what anyone thinks.
Peter: Let's go get an $18 Coke at the terrible zoo restaurant.