Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater/Quotes

Peter Griffin: A week! Aw, jeez. No, no, no, no. Please, God, kill me now. No, no, damn, damn, crap, damn it to hell, son of a...

Lois Griffin: Peter!

Peter Griffin: Lois, sometimes it's appropriate to swear.

[Flashback to a Courtroom, where a Bailiff stands facing Peter as he takes an oath]

Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

Peter Griffin: I do... you bastard.

Peter Griffin: You gotta help me, Brian. Teach me how to be a gentleman.

Brian Griffin: Well Peter, it's really not that hard. Ah, let's start with polite conversation. For example, "It's a pleasure to see you again. Lovely weather we're having." Now you try.

Peter Griffin: It's a pleasure to see you again. After Hogan's Heroes, Bob Crane got his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex. [Proudly] How's that?

Stewie Griffin: You, fetch me the Wall Street Journal! You two! Fight to the death!

Previous Episode's Quotes /// Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes