Family Guy Wiki


< Petergeist

5,843pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share
Adam West: Pardon me, I just bought a rottweiler and I need a sign to warn people how dangerous it is.
Saleswoman: [reaching for "Beware of Dog" sign] Well, we have exactly what...
Adam West: Ah, yes. Here it is..."One Way". So people will know if they step into my yard, there's only one way out. In a body bag. From dog injuries.

Priest: John, do you take Kelly to be your wife?
John Travolta: I totally do, I mean, yeah. Yes. Absolutely. And, I'm going to do stuff to her, too. Like, touch her?
[Kelly nods]
John Travolta: Yeah, touch her. And, kiss her?
[Kelly nods again]
John Travolta: And touch her penis. [Kelly gives him a look] I mean no, not that, not that.

[After tearing off his face and revealing Hank Hill]
Peter: [laughs] Propane.

Tom: A bit of breaking news, a local family is forced out of their home by ghosts! Who are they gonna call?
Diane: [sighs] Ghostbusters, Tom?
Tom: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.

Home Supply Employee: Can I help you?
Peter Griffin: Yeah, I hate my neighbor and I want to build something crazy out of spite.
Home Supply Employee: Well, I'll take you to our "one up-man-ship" aisle.

[When the family escapes their house from the poltergeist and gets in the car]
Lois: Wait a minute, where's Meg?
Brian: I don't know.
Stewie: I didn't see her.
Chris: Yeah, I kinda thought you guys would attend to that.
Lois: Peter, you got to go back and get her!
Peter: Oh, yeah, right, like I'm going back for Meg.
Lois: Peter!
Peter: Lois, damn it, we both agreed, remember? If we could only save two, we leave Meg.
Lois: I know, but...
Meg: [gets in the car; angrily] YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME IN THERE?
Peter: Okay, see? It resolved itself.

Herbert: [to the tree about Chris] Hey there, skinny britches. That's my man!

Lois: Peter, are you peeing in that skull?
Peter: No, Lois, I'm getting up and walking all the way to the bathroom and doing it there...[to himself] Pain in the ass.

Stewie: I haven't seen anything suck this much since... I HEART HUCKABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'S!

Brian: So what was it like on the other side?
Stewie: It was alright. I met Jesus.
Brian: Oh, what's he like?
Stewie: Believe it or not he's Chinese.
Brian: Oh, really.
Stewie: Yeah, and his last name is Hong, Jesus Hong. He said he doesn't know where everyone got Christ.

Brian: You know, we wouldn't be messing around with ghosts if you hadn't desecrated an Indian's remains.
Peter: Probably not a good time to mention I'm using the skull as an athletic cup.

Lois: Stewie! If you can hear me, head for Meg's butt!
Stewie: Have you lost your mind?!

Stewie: [through the TV] Mommy?
Lois: Stewie? Where are you?
Stewie: Look behind you, you stupid cow!

Peter: Lois, get ready to laugh. Get ready to laugh. [Peter's head appears in Meg's butt] Woops, must've taken a wrong turn somewhere!

Quagmire: As you can see, my family is here and it's game night. We're

Previous Episode's Quotes /// Petergeist's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki