Stewie: You are just horrible. You're even worse than those people who take dumps in the shower. [Cut to Meg taking a shower]
Meg: What? Why are you cutting to me? What did somebody say? Whatever they say I do, I don't do.

Joe: [gasps] I wonder if everything's okay at the old embassy.

[The guys hear a scream and turn to Peter who is holding his smartphone]
Peter: Sorry, somebody e-mailed me a video of a sheep screaming.

Lois: Last night, you left your dirty dishes in the sink. It's disgusting.
[Peter slowly starts to pull a knife out of its holder, slowly slides it back in but starts to pull it back out as Lois continues]
Lois: So I did half and I left the other half for you.

Brian: It's just when you've read as many books as I have [chuckles] it takes a toll, you know?
Stewie: Are you sure it's not from watching too much close-up porn on your phone?

Peter: What if God is a serial killer? He lowers the average lifespan of humans to sixty five and there are many exceptions based on genetics and diet.
Cleveland: That's stupid. I ain't never heard of somebody live to sixty five.

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