Stewie: [imitates commentators] He takes the beam. The spectators hold their breath as Stewie America's last hope... to take home the gold. [jumps] Oh-oh, did you see that, Mitch? I sure did, Kathy; that was impressive. Here comes the dismount.
Chris: Hey, Stewie, I just took a nap. You want an eye booger? [loses Stewie's balance]
Stewie: Aaaa...agh! Aw, damn you, Chris! Look what you've done! I'm training for the Olympics and I need absolute concentration. [throws a book at Chris' forehead, knocking out] Ugh, look at him, look how fat he is.

[The Kool-Aid Guy is relaxing on his couch when a car crashes into his living room]
Kool-Aid Man: Wow, you know, from the other side, that's kind of annoying.

Peter: Sure, I scared our family through bigger problems, like when we're cartoon sketches on The Tracey Ullman Show.
Lois: Well, that's the end of Puss; he was the best cat anyone had ever have.
Peter: Hey, Lois, what do ya say we go downtown and buy a dog?
Brian: Hey, wait a minute, you already have a dog!
Chris: So long, Puss.
Meg: We'll miss you.
Stewie: [Cockney accent] It's gonna be quite a different place with him gone, that's for true.

Stewie: Alright, Kathy, it looks like Stewie Griffin is preparing to begin the floor routine. That's right, Mitch, and as we watch Griffin doing this, I want to remind everyone that this is absolutely not gay. [performs an acrobatic sequence]
Brian: Boy, that was really gay.
Stewie: No! No! Didn't you just hear the announcers? They said it's not gay. Ha-ha! Stewie one, you zero.

Stewie: Stand back, Brian. I'm preparing for my vault.
Brian: You can't vault inside the living room, you're gonna get hurt.
Stewie: I'll get hurt right onto a Wheaties box.
Brian: I don't see that happening.
Stewie: Who cares what you say? You're a dog. You can't see colors...which means you can't see colors of the American flag. Commie! [runs. Jumps on trampoline, acrobats on table, flies, crashes in plate cabinet and falls to ground] Ugh, I think I'm okay. [Turns his head to the left a little, revealing a huge shard of glass stuck through his head] Aargh! Argh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Oh God! Somebody! Do I take it out or do I leave it in? Do I take it out or do I leave it in? Aaaaaargh!

Carter: Peter, can I speak to you over by the door? [A punch is heard and Peter falls down the hill]
[the Kool-Aid Man puts the finishing touches of the wall earlier]
Kool-Aid Man: Good as new! [Peter crashes through] Oh, come on!

Peter: Carter, hand me my thinking grenades.
Carter: Where'd you get these?
Peter: Shh, Carter, I'm thinking.
[Throws a grenade out the window, it explodes shortly after]
Peter: Uh-huh...
[Throws another grenade, explosion]
Passerby: Oh my God! He's dead!
Peter: That might work...
[Throws a third grenade, explosion]
Passerby: What's happening?!
Peter: [Gets up] I got it!

Previous Episode's Quotes /// Peterotica's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes