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Quagmire's Quagmire/Quotes

< Quagmire's Quagmire

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[Sonja smiles darkly as she locks a battered Quagmire in the trunk of his car]
Sonja: Oh, I'm gonna clean out your trunk. Giggity
Quagmire: That's my word, that's my word!

[Peter and Joe pound on the door of a storage unit while searching for Quagmire]
Joe: Quagmire, you in there!?
[Muffled sounds from Quagmire are heard]
Peter: Oh, he's eating. [Shouts at the door] We'll come back when you're done eating!

Stewie: [to Brian] Brian, either you cooperate or I blow my Adam Levine dog whistle.
[Cutaway to Adam Levine as the dog whistle]
Adam Levine: Hey, my voice isn't that high.
Stewie: [to audience viewer] It is. It is though.

[Peter and Brian are on the couch, fire engine alarm sounds offscreen, Brian jumps up!]
Brian: Oh my God! Oh my God! [Brian howls] Peter! Peter! You hear that? [Brian howls] I'm matching the sound. [Brian howls, then runs around in a circle] Is what I'm doing helping?

Peter: [slurring] Okay, Joe, Joe, you're drunk. Okay, you're drunk. Gimme your keys. And...and I'm drunk, so I'll give you my keys. Okay, now we're both good to drive home.
[Cut to Peter and Joe in each other's cars stopped in the middle of the road. Peter gets out of Joe's car]
Peter: You been drinkin' tonight, sir?
Joe: No, officer, I just had a glass of dinner with my wine.
Peter: Okay, I'munna needja ta step outta the car an' walk a straight line, please.
[Joe opens the car door and falls out]
Peter: Alright, you be safe, sir. There's a lotta crazies out there tonight.

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