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Roads to Vegas/Quotes

< Roads to Vegas

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Peter: [To Brian] Hey, congratulations, buddy. You know, you're a lucky guy. The only thing I ever won was an extra day of summer.
Lois: Okay, Peter. One more day.
Peter: Yay!!
[He walks outside the house then he walks back to the house with a sad look]
Peter: I saw what I look like in a car window, and now I don't wanna go.

[One set of Brian and Stewie teleport into Las Vegas]
Brian: Oh my God Stewie, it worked! We're in Vegas.
Stewie: Yeahhh, alright! So let's hit the hospital, get checked out for teleportation cancer and then part-tyyyy!

[Brian and Stewie are watching the large fountains in Las Vegas]
Stewie: You see that Brian, that's going to be our penises later, right?

[Peter is cut and bloody after using scissors to make a mask]
Peter: Scissors are jerks. And I'm a' owl.

[A trio of Asians smoking walk by a frustrated Brian at a slot machine with more Asians smoking behind him]
Brian: Excuse me, where can I find some smoking Asians? Oh, everywhere? Okay.

Unlucky Stewie: I've got a bad feeling, Brian.
Lucky Stewie: I've got a good feeling, Brian.
[Peter climbs a ladder toward a beehive]
Peter: I'm gonna get me that honey.

[Brian and Stewie are standing on the edge of their balcony, ready to jump to commit suicide]
Brian and Stewie: 1...2...3!
[Brian jumps but Stewie doesn't]
Stewie: I'm sorry I can't, I want to live! I didn't really think we were going to do it!
Brian: [falling] You dick!

[The unlucky Brian and Stewie are in their dilapidated third rate hotel. Stewie looks at a brochure]
Stewie: Well, the porn's free and they have a continental breakfast! [reads it again] Oh wait, the continent's Africa.

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