Principal Shepherd: [over the intercom] Attention students, this is Principal Shepherd with the lunchtime announcements and as a special treat, I thought I'd deliver them in the rapping style, you kids are so enthused about. [singing] Later today, you're gonna have a big thrill because shortly after lunch, there'll be a fire drill and when you go to wait for the bus, unnn, go in order or your hair will get mussed.
Kid: You suck!
Principal Shepherd: No, you suck! I can't hear you, I just presumed somebody said you suck. Anyway, last announcement. Don't forget, it's time to vote for homecoming king and queen. Nominations are due by 3pm today. Peace out! ... No, you're a douchebag!

Chris: Well, voting is tomorrow, so I gotta write my speech. Luckily, Chris Griffin rhymes with homecoming king, so I've got my opening line.

Principal Shepherd: Alright, now it's time for these four poor kids to thank you for subsidising their lunches.
Poor Kids: [depressingly] Thank you.
Principal Shepherd: Mean it!
Poor Kids: [forced] Thank you!

[Brian gets kicked out of James Woods High School by some parole officers]
Brian: They had security guards in the bathroom! We ... we live in such a culture of fear now.

Stewie: Oh my God, they just elected him out of pity because they think he's mentally challenged.
Brian: Kind of like we did with George W. Bush, huh? [laughs] Right?
Stewie: [sigh] I ... I guess ... I guess, Brian. I ... I don't ... I don't know. Let's just watch some commercials.

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