Chris: Hey Meg, who's your date? He looks like a real stiff.

Jerome: What's up, fools? I'd like to dedicate my performance today to Miss Whitney Houston.
Quagmire: Oh, we are fucked.

Mort Mom: Jeffrey Lipsitz has two soccer medals.
Mort: I can't play soccer... I have newborn-calf ankles! You know this, damn it!

[Cutaway to the hospital where Peter standing next to the kid in bed]
Peter: Sorry, I struck out looking. Wait, you're not the kid I promised.
Kid: No, he died last night.
Peter: Aw. Phew.

Peter: I am the Wind Maker [shoot the monkey in front of him] and I shoot monkey now.

Peter: There's only one drinking spot for us and it's the Clam.
Quagmire: But Peter, it's closed. We can't go in there.
Peter: Quagmire, when a girl says she doesn't want to have sex with you do you take that as an answer?
[A man whispers into Quagmire's ear]
Quagmire: My lawyer has advised me not to answer that question.

[At the funeral home]
Meg: Is there a bathroom in here? I've been yo-yo-ing a turd for the last twenty minutes.

Chris: Meg, they're dead. Would you stop being so uptight? You're like one of those Asian-Americans who fought in Vietnam.
[Cut to the cutaway of Vietnamese guy walk to the bathroom, then he shout after he scare his own reflection when he look himself in the mirror]
Vietnamese man: Ohh, it's just me.

Meg: Where is the dead body? I know you took it. And don't lie, or I'll tell Jennifer Connelly that you're the one who's been mailing her those dog heads.
[Cut to the cutaway of Chris sending the box to the postman at the post office]
Chris: Uh, yes, I'd like to mail this to a whore.

Stewie: Hey, guys, what's goin' on? And no one says anything, which means they hate it.

Meg: Stop it!
Chris: I have a itch.
Meg: I don't care! Dead people don't scratch their balls!

[After Chris's face has been given to the woman who lost her face from a chimp attacking her]
Chris: Meg, though you cannot tell, I am frowning.

Lois: I can't believe Horace is dead.
Stewie: I can't believe we left Brian in the car with the windows up.
[Out in the car frantically pawing at the windows]
Brian: I'm gonna pee!

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