- Chris: Hey Meg, who's your date? He looks like a real stiff.
- Jerome: What's up, fools? I'd like to dedicate my performance today to Miss Whitney Houston.
- Quagmire: Oh, we are fucked.
- Mort Mom: Jeffrey Lipsitz has two soccer medals.
- Mort: I can't play soccer... I have newborn-calf ankles! You know this, damn it!
- [Cutaway to the hospital where Peter standing next to the kid in bed]
- Peter: Sorry, I struck out looking. Wait, you're not the kid I promised.
- Kid: No, he died last night.
- Peter: Aw. Phew.
- Peter: I am the Wind Maker [shoot the monkey in front of him] and I shoot monkey now.
- Peter: There's only one drinking spot for us and it's the Clam.
- Quagmire: But Peter, it's closed. We can't go in there.
- Peter: Quagmire, when a girl says she doesn't want to have sex with you do you take that as an answer?
- [A man whispers into Quagmire's ear]
- Quagmire: My lawyer has advised me not to answer that question.
- [At the funeral home]
- Meg: Is there a bathroom in here? I've been yo-yo-ing a turd for the last twenty minutes.
- Chris: Meg, they're dead. Would you stop being so uptight? You're like one of those Asian-Americans who fought in Vietnam.
- [Cut to the cutaway of Vietnamese guy walk to the bathroom, then he shout after he scare his own reflection when he look himself in the mirror]
- Vietnamese man: Ohh, it's just me.
- Meg: Where is the dead body? I know you took it. And don't lie, or I'll tell Jennifer Connelly that you're the one who's been mailing her those dog heads.
- [Cut to the cutaway of Chris sending the box to the postman at the post office]
- Chris: Uh, yes, I'd like to mail this to a whore.
- Stewie: Hey, guys, what's goin' on? And no one says anything, which means they hate it.
- Meg: Stop it!
- Chris: I have a itch.
- Meg: I don't care! Dead people don't scratch their balls!
- [After Chris's face has been given to the woman who lost her face from a chimp attacking her]
- Chris: Meg, though you cannot tell, I am frowning.
- Lois: I can't believe Horace is dead.
- Stewie: I can't believe we left Brian in the car with the windows up.
- [Out in the car frantically pawing at the windows]
- Brian: I'm gonna pee!
Previous Episode's Quotes /// Save the Clam's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 10 | Family Guy Season 11 | Season 12 >> | |||||||||
| #01 | Into Fat Air | #09 | Space Cadet | #17 | Bigfat | ||||||
| #02 | Ratings Guy | #10 | Brian's Play | #18 | Total Recall | ||||||
| #03 | The Old Man and the Big 'C' | #11 | The Giggity Wife | #19 | Save the Clam | ||||||
| #04 | Yug Ylimaf | #12 | Valentine's Day in Quahog | #20 | Farmer Guy | ||||||
| #05 | Joe's Revenge | #13 | Chris Cross | #21 | Roads to Vegas | ||||||
| #06 | Lois Comes Out of Her Shell | #14 | Call Girl | #22 | No Country Club for Old Men | ||||||
| #07 | Friends Without Benefits | #15 | Turban Cowboy | ||||||||
| #08 | Jesus, Mary & Joseph | #16 | 12 and a Half Angry Men | ||||||||
| 200 Episodes Later | |||||||||||