Brian and Stewie patrol the streets of Iraq.

Saving Private Brian
Brian and Stewie join the army while Chris joins a goth rock band.

Season: 5 Episode: 4
Total Episode Count: 84
Prod. no.: 4ACX34
First Aired: November 5, 2006

Guest Starring: Louis Gossett, Jr.
Featuring: Peter, Lois, Chris, Stewie, Brian
Also Appearing: Splash Log, Vern and Johnny, Sergeant Extreme, Major Awesome, Herbert, Peggy, Marilyn Manson, Madonna, Mickey Rooney, Minnie Driver, Zinédine Zidane, Muddy Waters, Gregory Peck, George W. Bush, Dr. Katz, Brad Garrett, Ashlee Simpson, Will Smith, Bob Geldof, MC Hammer, Michael Jackson, Mayor Adam West, Meg
Musical Numbers: Evil Monkey Song, Over There, I am Peter Griffin

Director: Cyndi Tang
Assistant Director: Greg Lovell
Writers: Cherry Chevapravatdumrong
Storyboarders: Won Ki Cho, Rick Del Carmen

Plot: A US Army recruiter visits Chris’ school, giving a picture of army life consisting of women in bikinis, money, and Oscar awards (with the disclaimer, “Your experience may differ”). Chris is impressed, and tells his parents he wants to join. While Peter is up for the idea, Lois overrules, and decides to find another activity to distract him.

Peter notices a metal band practicing at the school, and introduces Chris. They doubt Chris can sing, but are impressed by his scream when Peter drops a piano on Chris’ foot. The band, Splash Log, is a hit with Chris singing “Evil, Evil Monkey” at a school dance, but the noise and antisocial attitude Chris picks up bothers Lois and Peter who both think it’s much worse than when Peter tried to cover up his farts by coughing during a PTA meeting. They notice he’s a fan of Marilyn Manson, so they confront Manson at the Grammy Awards. He goes back to the house to talk to Chris. Manson encourages Chris to respect his parents and be a responsible citizen. He also suggests that Peter and Chris share an activity like fishing.

Meanwhile, Brian is outraged by the army’s distortions, and, along with Stewie, goes to the recruiting station to complain. However, Stewie is impressed by the guns and enlists himself and Brian (as there is a $100 bonus for enlisting a friend). Brian does poorly at boot camp - not least because of lack of physical exercise prior to joining - and plans to desert, but Stewie encourages him to stay, pointing out that Brian has never completed anything he's ever started. They pass basic training and are deployed to Iraq, but after a terrorist attack on their patrol, attempt to get discharged.

They first attempt to show that they are 'not Army material' in front of other soldiers by pretending to be gay, but when an officer asks if he can join in, they give up. Next, they attempt to go home wounded. After a small debate over Stewie asking Brian to shoot him in the foot (as they can tell by the angle) they both attempt to shoot each other in the foot. Stewie, presumably because of his carrying a Colt M1911 around with him most days, hits, but Brian misses. Stewie changes his mind, but Brian chases him whilst hopping on his good foot. Stewie attempts to pretend he has been shot, but Brian shoots him again for good measure. However, this does not work either as the Army 'takes whatever they can find' - there are two dead people guarding the ammunition. Fortunately for them, however, democracy abruptly kicks in exactly as George W. Bush predicted, allowing them to go home.

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