Lois: No, daddy, Peter's cultured himself, like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
Carter: Oh, so I should treat him like a high class whore?
[Carter takes out a cigarette, lights it, puffs once, then extinguishes it on Peter's chest]
Peter: [wincing] That's fine, just no kissing on the lips.
Peter: I will give you all my Star Wars guys if it is. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Except Boba Fett. No matter how sure I am, I never risk the Fett man.
[Michael Eisner and Bill Gates are flying around on jetpacks]
Michael: The people look like ants from up here.
Bill Gates: They are ants, Michael. They are ants.
Stewie: I know where I want to go when I want to relax.
[cutaway to Stewie in a night club dancing with shirtless men]
Stewie: I know the guy who owns this place.
Stewie: I said I know the guy th...Oh I'll tell ya later, I love this song.
Prosecutor: Do you remember an incident at South Attleboro Denny's in December of 1996?
Brian: Uh, yeah, I guess.
[cutaway to Denny's. A baby cries loudly and Brian trying to read the paper, can't take any longer]
Brian: WAAAAGH! WAAAAGH! YA LIKE THAT?! HUH?! YA LIKE THAT?! WAAAAAGH! YOU JUST TUNE THIS OUT, DON'TCHA?! WAAAGH! WELL, TUNE THIS OUT! WAAAGH! [baby cries] WAGH! [pause; baby cries] WAGH! [again; baby cries] SHUT UP!
Brian: B...but I rented those for Peter! He got banned from the video store for taping over their movies.