Fandom

Family Guy Wiki

Screwed the Pooch/Quotes

< Screwed the Pooch

5,843pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share
Peter: Bonjour, Monsieur Pewterschmidt!
Carter: Did Peter have a stroke?
Lois: No, daddy, Peter's cultured himself, like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
Carter: Oh, so I should treat him like a high class whore?
[Carter takes out a cigarette, lights it, puffs once, then extinguishes it on Peter's chest]
Peter: [wincing] That's fine, just no kissing on the lips.

Peter: I will give you all my Star Wars guys if it is. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Except Boba Fett. No matter how sure I am, I never risk the Fett man.

[Michael Eisner and Bill Gates are flying around on jetpacks]
Michael: The people look like ants from up here.
Bill Gates: They are ants, Michael. They are ants.

Stewie: I know where I want to go when I want to relax.
[cutaway to Stewie in a night club dancing with shirtless men]
Stewie: I know the guy who owns this place.
Man: What?
Stewie: I said I know the guy th...Oh I'll tell ya later, I love this song.

Prosecutor: Do you remember an incident at South Attleboro Denny's in December of 1996?
Brian: Uh, yeah, I guess.
[cutaway to Denny's. A baby cries loudly and Brian trying to read the paper, can't take any longer]
Brian: WAAAAGH! WAAAAGH! YA LIKE THAT?! HUH?! YA LIKE THAT?! WAAAAAGH! YOU JUST TUNE THIS OUT, DON'TCHA?! WAAAGH! WELL, TUNE THIS OUT! WAAAGH! [baby cries] WAGH! [pause; baby cries] WAGH! [again; baby cries] SHUT UP!

Brian: B...but I rented those for Peter! He got banned from the video store for taping over their movies.
["Citizen Kane" is playing on a TV]
Charles Kane: Rosebud...
[The television cuts to Peter]
Peter: It's his sled. It was his sled from when he was a kid. There. I just saved you two long boob-less hours.

[Peter fantasizes Brian gaining lots of weight, he is seen eating chocolate]
Brian: I LUUUUUUUUV choc'late! But I can't eat it cuz then I'll get fat. But it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOO good!

Peter: Your Honor, Brian'll be a great dad. Hell, if I was half the parent Brian is, I'd know that Chris's favorite ice cream is...
Brian: Chocolate-chip.
Peter: And Stewie's favorite bedtime story is...
Brian: Goodnight, Moon.
Peter: And Meg's real father's name is...
Brian: Stan Thompson.

Peter: Alright pal! Did ya hear that, you're free! What the hell does neutered mean?

Carter: He's violating Sea Breeze!
Peter: No he's just awkwardly positioning himself to... NOW he's violating Sea Breeze.

Previous Episode's Quotes /// Screwed the Pooch's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes


Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki