Fandom

Family Guy Wiki

Stuck Together, Torn Apart/Quotes

< Stuck Together, Torn Apart

5,843pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share
Mort: Please don't spit in my eggs, please don't spit in my eggs, please don't spit in my eggs...Thank you for the eggs!...God I hope he didn't spit in my eggs.
Cook: Hey, Doug, I just spit in that guy's eggs!

Peter: [as he teaches Chris how to hula dance] No! It's step, hip, step pivot! Are you trying to piss off the volcano?!

Quagmire: [thinks to himself] God this itches! I wonder who I got it from. Probably that skank that I gave a ride to the gas station. Last time I do someone a favor. Oh God! They heard me! Oh God! I heard me! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!

Peter: [as he runs towards the movie screen and punches it] Come here, you home-wrecking bastard!
Chris: Don't do it, dad! He's bigger than you!

[As the family reads Meg's diary]
Lois: Dear Diary, Kevin is so hot. Today he was raking the yard. God I wish he'd throw me into that pile of leaves.
[The whole family laughs and Meg walks in the room]
Meg: Hey, what's everyone... Oh my God! You're reading my diary! I hate you all! [runs away screaming and crying]
Peter: Keep going!

Chris: Hey, look, Dad! They have 12-packs of kidneys!
Peter: Yeah, but you got to buy the cooler, too. That's how they get you.

[As Brian finishes changing Stewie's diaper]
Stewie: Do you like cleaning my doodie, Brian? Say it. Say, "I like cleaning your doodie, Stewie." Ha! Don't forget the taint.

Lois: That's it! Peter, you're suffocating me with your jealousy. I can't take it anymore. I'm calling a marriage counselor. I can't even have coffee with a friend without you freaking out! What is your problem?
Peter: You want to know what my problem is? You want to know what my problem is? I love too much!
Lois: Peter, what are you talking about?
Peter: Don't you see, Lois? We're alive!
Lois: Peter, you're scaring me!
Peter: Good! Embrace the fear! [starts dancing] Dance with me, Lois! Dance the dance of life! [crashes into the china cabinet] Yeah, maybe you should call that marriage counselor.

Peter: So, uh, what do you guys do for fun around here?
Mort Goldman: We like to watch old movies while listening to "Hotel California" to see if it synchs up in a significant way. And so far, no. Nothing has.

[While Brian and Stewie wait for the solvent to work]
Stewie: Well, let's see. What takes an hour? We could watch Rita Rudner do 5 minutes of stand-up.
Brian: Ba-zing.

Stewie: We met on the Internet. He lured me into the car with promises of candy and funny stories.

Peter: C'mon, let's go drink 'til we can't feel feelings anymore.

Peter: Oh, Meg. You and your drugs.

Previous Episode's Quotes /// Stuck Together, Torn Apart's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki