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The Courtship of Stewie's Father/Quotes

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TV: We now return to ESPN'S exclusive coverage to the Little League World Series.
Herbert: Jackpot!

Stewie: We just sat on a plane for 3 hours to come to Florida, God's waiting room, for who knows what...
[He spots a sign reading DISNEY WORLD 5 MILES]
Stewie: ...Oh Disney World! Disney World, Disney World! I...I wanna go to Disney World! Disney World, Disah-ah-ah-ah! [relaxes] I'm still mad at you.

Tom: We now go live to Ollie Williams in the Channel 5 Newscopter. What's the scene, Ollie?
Ollie: Everyone looks like ants!
Tom: Probably cos you're up so high. Coming up, an exclusive interview with Andrew Shue.

Eisner: Kali Ma! Kali Ma! Kali Ma!
Peter: You betrayed the shareholders!

[Security guard chains Stewie, who is in a Dutch costume]
Security Guard: Now sing!
Stewie: I shall do no such thing!
Dutch prisoner boy: You must sing! If you don't, they'll make you do a Christmas movie with Tim Allen!
Stewie: It's a tiny tiny word, it's a tiny tiny world...

Peter: Aww, things were going so good for me and Stewie, but now he hates me again. Brian what should I do to win him back?
Brian: That depends. Do you want my advice or are you just asking random questions again?
Peter: What's a hypotenuse?

Lois: Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip club? He smells like sweat and fear.
Stewie: Ughh, let me tell you Tuesday afternoon is not exactly their "A" squad. I actually saw bullet wounds.

Peter: Hey Drippy, you're back. What's for dinner?
Lois: PETER, WHEN I SAID BOND WITH STEWIE THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND!! I AM FURIOUS WITH YOU!!

Stewie: Hm, Florida. Just think, somewhere in this state right now, Jeb Bush is eating a live puppy.

Lois: Peter we need to talk about your son.
Peter: The fat one or the funny-looking one?
Chris: Ha! Ha! Dad called you fat! Wait a second

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