Peter: [After Quagmire chooses truth playing truth or dare] Do you have AIDS?
Quagmire: [Nervous and awkwardly laughing] C'mon we're all just trying to have a good time.

Peter: [To Lois at Peter Griffin Jr's Funeral] I'm sorry Lois. I thought if I shook him enough he'd stop cryin'. I was kinda right.

Peter: Ohh! Nick Jonas is so cute!

Brian: [After seeing Stewie on the roof] What the hell?
Stewie: Call the fire brigade! Get a ladder! Get me down!
Brian: What are you doing up there?
Stewie: Fucking your girlfriend! What do you think I'm doing up here? I'm stuck!

Lois: Peter...what is our infant son doing up on the roof?!
Stewie: [Off-screen] There's a raccoon up here!

Brian: Well, Peter, it's generally believed that the jury [of the OJ trial] made a mistake.
Peter: You're saying all those guys in their powdery wigs and their Pilgrim hats and their big, gross wives were wrong? Man, they'd have to be stupider than you are when you fart yourself awake.
[Cutaway to Brian sleeping in the living room. He farts and wakes up.]
Brian: Hello?! What the...Wha...Who's there?! What's goin' on?!...Whatever's happenin' in here...just knock it off.

Joe: You're doing great Peter. Just don't let him intimidate you.
Quagmire: Guys, Guys! Someones getting frogged in the club house!
Joe: Quagmire!
Quagmire: She's sounds fat!

Stewie: [After Lois guesses who Peter brought home] Yeah, he wasn't in The Towering Inferno, you dumb beaver.

Brian: [After O.J. is coming at the Griffins home] What the...
Stewie: [interrupting Brian] I just think you're terrific.

O.J Simpson: [After dropping the lasagna on the floor] Oh Lois! I'm so sorry!
Lois: Uh, i-it's all right O.J, l-l-lemme get something to clean it up. [She walks towards the oven but slips and falls on the lasagna. Brian walks in and notices Lois on the floor]
Brian: [Screams] OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
Lois: Brian! What's the matter?
Brian: [Sighing with relief] You're alive.

Peter: [After O.J. kills three people] Oh, I guess he did do it.

Millie: Me sorry Mr. Sir. Get out da room dim dere you bodda your father. Him unhappy him had you in the first place. Now come on, I'll let you rub some lotion on me elbows.

Mayor West: We don't want you in our town Simpson! We don't love you like we did back in 1993!
Homer Simpson: D'oh!
Mayor West: And as for you O.J. we don't want you here either.

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