The Last Time I Saw Paris
Family Guy - Live In Las Vegas
From the episode: Family Guy: Live in Vegas
Singers: Brian Griffin with Walter Murphy & His Orchestra
Voices: Seth MacFarlane with Walter Murphy & His Orchestra

"The Last Time I Saw Paris" is a song composed by Jerome Kern, with lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II, published in 1940. It was sung in the 1941 film Lady Be Good by Ann Sothern. It was performed by Brian Griffin on track 7 on Family Guy: Live in Vegas.


Brian: So if you would recall with me now one of those warm evenings in the city of love. Paris is everybody's mistress. Every man has his own secret memories of Paris.

The last time I saw Paris, her heart was warm and gay

Background singers: I heard the laughter of her heart in every street café.

Brian: Hey Garçon!

Garçon: Oui, Monsieur?

Brian: Tell me, have you seen a girl?

Garçon: A girl? What kind of girl?

Brian: Any kind. My boat leaves tomorrow. Say, do you think that girl sitting over there would be offended if I said hello?

Garçon: Hahaha. Monsieur, she has winked at you. She has dropped her handkerchief, and right now, she is smiling at you. What does that usually mean to you, eh?

Brian: She’s a cop. The last time I saw Paris, her trees were dressed for spring.

Background Singers: And lovers walked beneath the trees, and birds found songs to sing

French Girl: Brian, I enjoyed having dinner with you.

Brian: Oh, I enjoyed being with you

French Girl: Oh, it was delicious! The champagne, the duckling, the crepes suzette, the brandy.

Brian: It was nice. Oh, by the way, here's my half of the check. Say, you're quite a doll. Do you have a husband?

French Girl: Mais non.

Brian: Engaged?

French Girl: Mais non.

Brian: Boyfriend?

French Girl: Mais non!

Brian: I don’t know who this guy Meno is, but he must be a powerhouse.

French Girl: Brian, I'm afraid I must go home.

Brian: Ah, but it's early. We've got a world of time.

French Girl: Oh, but I must.

Brian: C'mon, this is our night. Let's give your mom and dad a chance to go to sleep.

French Girl: That's just it. I live alone, and there's no one to feed the parakeet.

Brian: Alone? Well, hey, let's hurry home and cram that little bastard full of birdseed! Taxi!

Background singers:And he's found songs to sing

I dodged the same old taxicabs that I had dodged for years. The echo of their squeaky horns was music to my ears.

Phew. How much further up is your apartment?

French Girl: Only six more flights.

Brian: No wonder you don't worry about living alone. These stairs make a wonderful chaperon.

French Girl: Brian, you never told me what kind of work you do.

Brian: Oh, I do a little bit of freelance writing. I used to sell vacuum cleaners, but I had to quit, because I couldn't give a demonstration without hiding under a table.

French Girl: Oh, I love the Americans. They are so debonair, so handsome.

Brian: If you insist.

French Girl: What country are you from?

Brian: Huh?

French Girl: Well, here we are. Come on in. I'll turn on the lights.

Brian: Do you mind leaving it off?

French Girl: As you wish, chéri.

Brian: I'll close the drapes. There, that's better.

French Girl: Much better.

Brian: By the way, I brought you a little gift. It's a dead chipmunk. Y'see, when a dog brings a piece of road kill into the house and drops it on the carpet, what he's really saying is “I love you.”

French Girl: Oh my! You have such a way with words. Come here, hun. Kiss me.

Brian: Don't mind if I do.

The last time I saw Paris, her heart was warm and gay. No matter how they change her, I'll remember her that way.

Background Singers: The last time I saw Paris...

Chris: Yaaaay.

Stewie: Oh yes, right on time with that one, Chris. I say, Lois, how harrowing it must have been to give birth to that monstrosity.

Brian: Yeah, that must've been tough, having Chris.

Lois: Well, how should I put this... Imagine squeezing a Subaru out of your vagina.

Stewie: Well, I can imagine the Subaru, but I'm afraid I can't imagine myself with a vagina.

Brian: I can imagine you with a vagina.

Stewie: Is that a gay joke?

Brian: That is a gay joke.

Lois: Ohoh, we have such a colorful family, don't we?

Peter: Yeah, they're swell. Especially you, Lois. You know, I gotta tell you: my life sucked big time before I met you.

Lois: Well, go ahead and tell me.