Peter: I think we should go live with Mom.
Stewie: I just heard all of that, and I just want to say this family is fucking disintegrating.

Dr. Hartman: Hey, what do you guys do when the screen goes black?

[After Chris ruins Peter's bike]
Meg: Chris, look at what you did!
Chris: You mean look at what 2 black teenagers did when they stole Dad's bike.

Peter: I'm the big..."Mamu" around here!

Chris: Well, high school is like Lord of the Flies. It's a social nightmare. And I hear Canadian high schools are even worse!

Lois: Chris, have you been drinking?
Chris: Yes, have you been aging?

Peter: I guess we learned that no matter who you are or where you come from, life is a terrible thing.

Peter: [Dressed as a girl] Hey mom can I go to the mall with Jennifer after school?
Lois: Peter you're just switching ages you're not switching genders.
Peter: Ah! I shall return

Peter: [Holding a shotgun] Alright, time to make all those popular kids pay for ignoring me! [cocks gun]
Lois: No Peter you're just a normal high school kid.
Peter: Oh. [pulls out phone and dials] Hey Lance? It's off! It's off! It's off! It's off!
[Gunshots and screams are heard from the phone. Peter quickly hangs up]
Peter: Throw this phone away Lois!

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