- Lois: Peter, we have people coming over and they're expecting a turkey!
- Peter: If they're expecting a turkey, I'll just put on Evan Almighty! Zap!
- Lois: Chris are Brian and your father back yet?
- Chris: No, and why are you saying the dog's name before Dad's?
- Stewie: It's weird. Y...yeah, you're right, that is weird.
- [Lois and Joe watch Kevin and his little person girlfriend have sex outside]
- Lois: Oh, my God, it looks like he's chalking up a pool cue!
- Peter: We'll be back with a turkey faster than you can say, "Jack Robinson."
- Lois: Jack Ro... [Slurs] Jack Ro... [Slurs]
- Peter: She had a stroke that killed the part of her brain that says, "Jack Robinson." We got plenty of time.
- ["Meet Virginia" by Train plays on the radio]
- Peter: Is this...is this fine?
- Brian: I mean it's not...it's...yeah, it's fine if you think it's fine.
- Peter: It's not that good of a song, but we know it.
- Brian: Yeah, ok. Sure.
- [Brief silence]
- Peter: Brian, I love Train!
- Brian: I fucking love Train!
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