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You Can't Do That On Television, Peter/Quotes

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[Peter places a device, moves the handle and awooga goes the klaxon]
Peter: Uh-oh! Sounds like my cranky new neighbor just got home. I hope she don't come over here and give me a business. [knocks the table three times. He picks up a poorly designed puppet version of Lois in a high tone] Peeter! [normal tone, irritable] Oh, hi, Saggy Naggy. [high] Never mind with 'hi'! It's sounds like someone's havin' fun over here! You know I don't like that. [normal, brusquely] Hey, kids, meet Saggy Naggy. Real nice lady, huh?
Kids: Noo!
Peter: What can I do for ya, Saggy Naggy? [high, bawled] You can stop havin' fun! [normal] But we like fun...don't we, kids?
Kids: Yes!
Peter: [high, incredulous] Well, too bad, 'cause you're all gonna eat your vegetables, listen to long stories about my cousins, and how we fold sheets! [to Peter] And you! You're gonna help around the house, take out the garbage and give Stewie his bottle. [cut to Stewie on the couch in sunglasses with his cellphone]
Stewie: Yeah, I heard it...he say my name on TV all the time, calm down, bitch.

Dr. Hartman: This area is known as a hallway. Don't worry you'll pick up on all the technical doctor jargon pretty soon. Hey is it "prescription" or "perscription"?
Meg: I think it's prescription.
Dr. Hartman: Prescription? That just feels weird in my mouth. Perscription is better. Oh and there's the ER, don't go in there unless you want everyone to yell at you.

Brian: What do you got there?
Stewie: Oh, I'm just playing with some Lee Logs.
Brian: What the hell are Lee Logs?
Stewie: Oh, just a little something I created. Lee Logs. Robert E. Lee. You know, you got Lincoln Logs, you got Lee Logs.
Brian: I don't get it, can you build a house?
Stewie: You can build quarters.
Brian: And people live there?
Stewie: They live there if you tell 'em to live there.
Brian: I don't know if I like the idea of Lee Logs.
Stewie: Yeah, they're not selling very well.

Stewie: I wonder if Mother Maggie is married to Father Fa... Oh no, probably not.

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