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You Can Find It on TV

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You Can Find It on TV
If you want it
From the episode: The 59th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards
Singers: Brian & Stewie Griffin
Voices: Seth MacFarlane
Emmys '07 - Stewie & Brian sings "You can find it on TV"03:01

Emmys '07 - Stewie & Brian sings "You can find it on TV"

"You Can Find It on TV" is a musical number opening the 59th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards sung by Brian and Stewie Griffin. It uses the very same tune as "The FCC Song", which, in turn, uses the same tune as "Volunteer Firemen Picnic," which comes from the Broadway musical Take Me Along with Jackie Gleason.

Lyrics

Stewie: You know, Brian, we are privileged to live in this particular age of television programming.
Brian: Really? You think so? Seems to me that nearly all television these days is complete trash.
Stewie: Yes, quite right. But never before in history have we had such a wide selection of trash.
Brian: Yeah, I guess you're right.
Stewie: Of course I'm right! For example...
[Music begins]
Stewie: You've got mega hits like Idol where Sanjaya took his bow
Brian: Just a little boy from India who made us all say wow
Stewie: With a voice that makes you wanna just go out and kill a cow
Together: Here's the plain situation
A simple declaration
If you want it you can find it on TV
Brian: You've got "Scrubs" on NBC in season seven-and-a-half
With the antics of the loveable and talented Zach Braff
Stewie: Who reminds us that a sitcom doesn't have to make you laugh
Together: You can try to deny it
But we can certify it
If you want it you can find it on TV
Brian: And if you start to crave a brand new TV thrill
They're always brewing up some brand new primetime swill
Stewie: Like the GEICO Cavemen
Brian: CBS was once a network that was reverent and clean
But today they've got some shows that are remarkably obscene
Stewie: Like a show about a little boy who lives with Charlie Sheen
Together: Oh, there ain't nothing to it
You click it on and view it
If you want it you can find it on TV
[Music fades into background]
Brian: You know, I think I'm gettin' the idea, Stewie.
Stewie: Ahh? You see?
Brian: Absolutely! Hey, how 'bout this!
[Music kicks in again]
Brian: ABC has got a lineup that's refreshing and alive
With its hits like "Desperate Housewives" just continuing to thrive
Stewie: And those women look sensational for being sixty-five!
Together: No we won't over-sell ya
We merely wanna tell ya
If you want it you can find it on TV
Brian: Now, the Peacock's having trouble simply staying in the race
So I hear they're bringing "Seinfeld" back to save a little face
Stewie: And I hear Isaiah Washington is taking Kramer's place?
Together: Oh, you may not adore it
But boy you can't ignore it
If you want it you can find it on TV
Brian: Now "The Sopranos" is a show I'd recommend
Stewie: Because you never know just how it's gonna... [Music cuts out, screen goes black]
[Music and video returns]
Brian: So to sum up the philosophy on which we're both agreed
All the garbage on the airwaves is a vital thing indeed
Stewie: Cause without it then Americans would have to learn to read
Together: And so up with the curtain
It's absolutely certain
If you want it you can find it on TV

Notes

  • The 59th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards aired on FOX on a Sunday night, and Family Guy was pre-empted.
  • During the song, they call Sanjaya Malakar a little boy from India. While he is of Indian descent, Malakar was actually born in Washington state.
  • The joke about The Sopranos being unpredictable to end comes from the controversial final moment of the series finale.

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